VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH

VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 130, May 9, 2010
St. Louis, Missouri USA

Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful

(Ed Note:Thanks to our great USA for renovating the nine hundred year old HOUSE OF ALLAH "Mosque" in Zanzibar).

Zanzibar: US Restores 900 year Kizimkazi Mosque
(Condensed version)
2 April 2010, Jeff Baron
afrik.com

The mosque at Shumba is one of two on the island of Pemba restored with help from the U.S. Ambassadors Fund for Cultural Preservation.

The U.S. Ambassadors Fund for Cultural Preservation has provided support for saving three mosques in Tanzania, including the one near Kizimkazi on the island of Zanzibar that is considered one of the oldest Islamic buildings on the coast of east Africa. The 2008 grant allowed for repairs and restoration of the mosque’s roof, ceiling, doors and windows as well as the mihrab, the ornate alcove that indicates the direction of Mecca.

The Kizimkazi mosque is old enough to show the roots of Islam in the region. Most of the mosque dates to a reconstruction in the 18th century — as proclaimed in an Arabic inscription from that time — but inscriptions near the mihrab that are in Kufic, an older form of Arabic script, put the date of construction in the 12th century, and some design elements of the mosque reflect the influence of Persia. Islam arrived in southeastern Africa with traders from Arabia and Persia, 3,500 miles (5,633 kilometers) to the north.

Before the restoration, water damage showed on the mihrab of the mosque near Kizimkazi in Zanzibar.

The mosque, which is still in use as a center of community life, was suffering damage from rain and even from bats and birds that nested inside. Work on the Kizimkazi mosque followed another project, also supported by the Ambassadors Fund, to restore two mosques that date from the mid-17th to early 18th century on the island of Pemba.

The mosques, which contain unique features that combine Swahili and Persian architecture, had fallen into disrepair from the harsh climate and a lack of maintenance. The mosques needed work on their roofs and ceilings, along with replacement of faulty electric wiring. They also got new lighting and ceiling fans, fresh paint and new prayer mats. This area is one of the poorest and most remote of what is already a remote part of Tanzania. While the community has managed to keep the mosques in working order, they have no way of raising money from the congregations to fund the necessary restorations,” the funding proposal said.

(Ed Note: Special thanks to Army National Guard Major David Howell)

Scars Healed, Iraqi Boy set to Leave US

AP, Apr 22, 2010, (Times of India)

(AP Photo/Maya Alleruzzo)

EAST LANSING (Michigan):

The badly scarred 12-year-old who arrived in the US from Iraq last spring with army national guard major David Howell has had quite a year in Michigan — dressing up as Batman for Halloween, playing video games, getting pitching tips from the Detroit Tigers’ Justin Verlander and being the ball boy for a high school soccer team.

Mohammed, now 13, also has undergone five surgeries to regain the use of his left hand, rebuild his left ear and attach skin grafts that replaced his scarred scalp where hair no longer would grow after he was badly burned in a house fire as an infant. He can wear a glove to play his newest American passion, baseball, and close his left eye. He no longer needs a cap to cover his scars. “He’s really happy that he needs a brush,’’ said Howell, 56, of Grand Ledge. “His self-esteem is way higher than when he got here.’’

On Sunday, Howell will head back to Iraq with Mohammed, a shy, slender boy who approached Howell at an entry control point in the Iraqi city of Ramadi in November 2008. Mohammed asked Howell — a Michigan Army National Guard physician’s assistant who was serving his second deployment in Iraq — to save him and take him to America. Howell spent a frantic six months getting identification and a visa for Mohammed and lining up plastic surgeon Dr Edward Lanigan at Michigan State University to perform free surgery and a Muslim host family in East Lansing.

Howell won’t publicize Mohammed’s middle or last names because the boy’s family may still be in danger in Iraq. His father was killed by insurgents three years ago for working as a translator for the US marines. The insurgents warned Mohammed’s mother they would kill her and her children if she ever contacted US soldiers. His mother and 19-year-old brother, Yousif, will be waiting for Mohammed when he and Howell reach the Baghdad airport on Tuesday.

CONGRATULATIONS TO BR. KHALIL HAMRA

Associated Press photographer Khalil Hamra receives The Robert Capa Gold Medal Award at the 71st Annual Overseas Press Club Awards in New York, Thursday, April 22, 2010. The award, given to him for his coverage of Gaza, honors 'best published photographic reporting from abroad requiring exceptional courage and enterprise (AP Photo/David Goldman)

INDIA

(Ed Note: KUDOS TO BELOW POLICE MAN WHO HELPS THE STUDENTS)

A policeman reads to a slum child in a corridor of a police barrack in the eastern Indian city of Siliguri April 5, 2010. About 120 slum children attend classes from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. conducted by nine policemen in the barrack to attain primary education five days a week, a police officer said. REUTERS/Rupak De Chowdhuri

CAIR WELCOMES JUDGE'S RULING ON ILLEGAL WIRETAPS

(Washington D.C. 3/31/10) -- The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) today welcomed a federal judge's ruling that the Bush administration illegally wiretapped the phone conversations of a Muslim charity and two attorneys.

U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker ruled Wednesday that the Al-Haramain Islamic Foundation and attorneys Wendell Belew and Asim Ghafoor provided evidence that "they were subjected to warrantless electronic surveillance."

"This ruling is one of many steps toward the full restoration of civil liberties and constitutional protections in the post-9/11 era," said CAIR Legal Counsel Nadhira Al-Khalili. "The true test of any democracy is its ability to maintain basic legal rights, even in times of national crisis."

FIRST HALAL APPROVED CREDIT CARD

A Canadian Islamic financial institution is launching Canada's first "halal-approved" credit card this month and will also offer it to USMuslims by year end, its president told AFP on Tuesday. (AFP/File)

ISLAMIC ROLE MODELS IN HISTORY
Exemplary Behavior of an Exemplary Leader

Abdulazeem

It was year 637 AD. Caliph Umar Muslim Army had just accepted the surrender of the city of Jerusalem after a four month siege. As Hazrat Umar entered Jerusalem, Patriarch of Jerusalem Sophroniu gave Him tour of the city.

At the hour of prayer they stood together in the church the Holy Sepulchre, Sophronius invited Umar to pray in the Church; “No,” replied Umar, “If I do so, the Muslims one day might take this as an excuse to take the church from you.” So Umar prayed on the steps of the church. He then gave the Bishop a pact that forbade the Muslims from ever praying on the steps of the church.

FUTURISTICS:

(Ed Note: Would Taliban insist that even below non-human be fully covered before she communicates?

(We have a dream, that one day, TALIBAN WOULD CELEBRATE WOMEN'S DAY )

(Humanoid robot called Geminoid-F")

A model (R) touches the face of a humanoid robot called "Geminoid-F" (L) at a press conference in Osaka. Japanese researchers said Saturday they have developed a humanoid robot that can laugh and smile as it mimics a person's facial expressions. (AFP/Yoshikazu Tsuno)

MANAGING E-MAIL AND SOCIAL NETWORKING SERVICES AFTER DEATH, IMPLICATIONS FOR THE UMMAH ?

Members of the My Webwill team prepare for the launch of their web based service in their Stockholm office Dec. 4, 2009. The digital will service My Webwill, a Swedish Internet site is launching a new service that offers to manage email and social networking accounts after death. (AP Photo/Louise Nordstr)

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE ON INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM ?

(Yahoo.news.photos)


BOOBQUAKE

(BOTH FEMINISTS AND MUSLIMS HAVE A COMMON GROUND IN THEIR OPPOSITION TO BOOB QUAKE DAY)

(Ed Note: Globally, most of the Imams in general do an excellent job in terms of their speeches prior to Friday prayers and on other special occasions. However some Imams bring disgrace to Islam by twisting the facts or making fictitious irrational statements, an example of which is indicated below. We strongly condemn such statements. Holy Quran is loaded with information in the fields of geology, embryology, sociology, astronomy et.c that is consistent with science and remains unchallenged to this day. Imams like Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi really have inadvertently brought mockery to Islam.

We urge all Imams to do their research & homework real well before making untrue statements in their speeches. The male editor of this issue was himself involved in the past in giving speeches prior to Friday prayers at the Chapel Room of Harbor UCLA Medical Center for Muslim staff and patients and from personal experience, it is clear that one needs to prepare real well before giving a religious speech.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED TO CONFIRM THAT THERE IS NO CONTRADICTION BETWEEN SCIENCE AND HOLY QURAN, WE RECOMMEND THAT THEY READ THE BOOK TITLED:

"THE BIBLE, THE QURAN AND SCIENCE" by Dr. MAURICE BUCAILLE.

(FOREWORD: "As a surgeon, Maurice Bucaille has often been in a situation where he was able to examine not only people's bodies, but their souls"....."he learnt Arabic and studied the Quran. In it, he was surprised to find statements on natural phenomena whose meaning can ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD THROUGH MODERN SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE" ) Dr. Maurice Bucaille indicates that he could not find even one single statement in the Holy Quran that contradicts Science.

(examiner.com)

(MYTH OF LINKING EARTHQUAKES TO DRESSING IMMODESTLY)

Radio Free Europe, Radio Liberty

(Women who dress immodestly in Iran can expect to be stopped by the police from time to time).

Golnaz Esfandiari
April 24, 2010

Last week, an Iranian cleric linked earthquakes to women who fail to dress modestly and lead men astray.

In response, a U.S. student has called on women around the world to dress immodestly -- show a little cleavage, or some short shorts -- to show their disapproval of Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi's claims.

Sedighi said in his Friday Prayers sermon last week that women who do not fully observe the obligatory Islamic hijab lead to the spread of adultery in Iranian society, which increases the risk of earthquakes.

Jennifer McCreight, a 22-year-old double major in genetics and evolution, decided to challenge him by creating the "Boobquake" group on Facebook to "help fight supernatural thinking and the oppression of women, just by dressing immodestly."

The Facebook page has attracted over 100,000 fans and it has got a lot of Western media attention.

"Boobquake" is due to take place on Monday, April 26. Watch out for earthquakes!

Amanda Willis (L-R) Amanda Willis, Kimberly Workman, Karen Daily and Diane Tepfer show their cleavage during a protest in Dupont Circle in Washington, DC for BoobquakeDay. The women were protesting against recent comments by a senior cleric in Iran warning that the failure of women to abide by Iran's strict dress code was leading to increasing extramarital sex, which was in turn triggering more (earth) quakes.

Feminist Upset Over Boobquake Day (above) Photo

April 26, 2010
(trailerparknews.com)

Local feminist are upset over recent cleavage photo taken during a protest in Dupont Circle in Washington, DC for Boob quake Day.

‘This is an outrage,’ said Dora Ecksplora. ‘Typical male led feminist movement in which they leave the older, unattractive women out of the shot of the camera. Boobs aren’t just birds, they’re power!’

The local NOW chapter is upset over the cheapening of the protest due to poor reporting.

FROM BOOBQUAKE TO BRAINQUAKE
(Condensed version)
Golnaz Esfandiari

The creators of "Brainquake" say on their Facebook page that they're saddened that the creator of "Boobquake" and thousands of other women have responded to Sedighi's claim by resolving to show some cleavage on April 26.

"Everyday women and young girls are forced to 'show off cleavage' and more in order simply to be heard, to be seen, or to advance professionally. The web is already filled with images of naked women; the porn industry thrives online and many young girls are already vulnerable to predatory abuse. Violence against women and girls has a direct correlation to the sexualisation of women and girls. The extent of their sexualisation is evident in the hundreds of replies that pour into the 'Boobquake' Facebook page where women write, apologetically: 'I don’t have boobs, not fair' or 'Hey, I only have a C cup...' and 'What about those of us who no longer have cleavage? They sag too low.'"

AUSTRALIA

(Ed Note: We strongly encourage Muslims specially in western countries to if possible involve in volunteer work in their respective local communities).

Push to Recruit Muslim Volunteers
George Roberts
(Australia: abc.net.au)

MARK COLVIN: Members of Australia's Islamic communities are encouraging young Muslims to get more involved in volunteering, as a way to break down stereotypes and give back to the community. At a forum in western Sydney, about 300 young Islamic Australians have been hearing about the benefits of helping out with charities and how to get involved. The organisers say cultural concerns have meant that young Muslims have been less likely to get involved with non-Islamic organisations.

George Roberts has the story.

GEORGE ROBERTS: Abulfazal Eftakhari fled the war in Afghanistan nine years ago. The 17 year old spent the next six years in Pakistan, where he helped out in a mosque.

ABULFAZAL EFTAKHARI: Yes I was doing the donations. Each year and each month, I was collecting donations for the local mosque and for the people there, yes, and for the spending of the expenditures of the mosques.

GEORGE ROBERTS: He arrived in Australia three years ago and is now finishing year 12 but he wants to do more for the community.

ABULFAZAL EFTAKHARI: I want to be a part of the community and help them and then build a perception that we are doing good and we are all Australian and we have same motive to develop Australia.

GEORGE ROBERTS: He's one of about 300 students who've been hearing from 30 nongovernment organisations about how to get into volunteering. The day's program was organised by the Forum on Australia's Islamic Relations, or FAIR.

Its director Kuranda Seyit, says there are a lot of reasons why young Muslims don't volunteer in non-Islamic organisations.

KURANDA SEYIT: Well the research that was conducted a couple of years ago was mainly surveying young people and what we found was that a lot of young people were discouraged from entering into volunteering groups because they were unaware of how to go about doing it.

But also they were discouraged because they were worried that there would be some type of discrimination or misunderstanding about their faith, particularly girls wearing hijab, boys wanting to pray during working hours. These are the types of things that whilst we know that most people are very tolerant about that and accommodating that, a lot of Muslims don't understand that.

GEORGE ROBERTS: Kuranda Seyit says today's forum is about changing those perceptions, and the community's perception of Muslims.

KURANDA SEYIT: Basically, volunteering is a great way to build bridges because what you're doing is you're exposing that culture, the Islamic culture to that volunteering organisation. The other thing is that you're exposing that culture of the organisation to those young people and so they're learning a lot of about these organisations.

GEORGE ROBERTS: Volunteering Australia's, Amanda Everton, says it's not just young Muslims who should be encouraged to volunteers

AMANDA EVERTON: Young people regardless of what multicultural background or multi-faith background they come from, the area of youth volunteering is an area that is growing and that organisations, not-for-profit organisations need to be looking at how they can engage those young people.

GEORGE ROBERTS: But Abulfazal Eftakhari thinks it's particularly important for young Muslims to do more in the community.

ABULFAZAL EFTAKHARI: In this country as you know like we are actually notorious for being gangster and being a bad guys, but actually we are doing good things.

MARK COLVIN: Abulfazal Eftakhari ending George Roberts' report.

EUROPE

EXHIBITION: TREASURES OF AGA KAHN MUSEUM IN BERLIN
(March 16 thru June 6, 2010)

A Quran on cloth copied by Munshi Abdulghani al-Qadiri, India 1718-1720AD is displayed at the exhibition Treasures Of The Aga Kahn Museum at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. More than 200 items from the Aga Khan's collection of Islamic treasures are going on show in Berlin, an exhibition that spans a millennium and aims to illustrate the breadth of Islamic culture. The show presented Tuesday ranges geographically from Spain to Indonesia and in content from a chestnut leaf inscribed with calligraphy to a Mongol nobleman's robe. It opens to the public at Berlin's Martin-Gropius-Bau on Wednesday and runs through June 6. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber)

An illustrated manuscript of the 'Dala'il al-khayrat', from the Ottoman Empire is displayed at the exhibition Treasures Of The Aga Kahn Museum at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber)

A manuscript of the Mughal Quran from India 1682 AD is displayed at the exhibition Treasures Of The Aga Kahn Museum at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber)

An illuminated double page of the Quran, possibly Jemen, circa 1300-1350AD with ink, opaque watercolour and gold on paper is displayed, at the exhibition Treasures Of The Aga Kahn Museum at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. The pages show the Sura Yunus (Jonas) 10:109 and Hud 11:1-15. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber)

BOSNIA

Grand Mufti of Bosnian Muslims Mustafa Ceric (R) and Deputy Mufti Ismet Spahic (2nd R) pray at the grave of General Rasim Delic at Kovaci cemetery in Sarajevo on April 19, 2010. The wartime commander of Bosnia's army died on Friday while awaiting an appeal on his three-year sentence by the United Nations war crimes tribunal for war crimes against Croats and Serbs during the 1992-95 Bosnian war. REUTERS/Dado Ruvic

BELGIUM

Vice President of the Muslim Executive of Belgium, Isabelle Praile, speaks with the Associated Press in Brussels, Wednesday April 14, 2010. B (AP Photo/Virginia Mayo)

ASIA

INDIA

OPPRESSION BY INDIAN MILITARY CONTINUES IN KASHMIR. WE EQUALLY OPPOSE TERRORIST ACTS BY MILITANTS

Next Women cry during the funeral of Khursheed Ahmad Parray in Khan Sahib, about 30 km (19 miles) west of Srinagar March 16, 2010. Parray, a pedestrian was killed and five others wounded on Tuesday in a second militant attack on security forces in the heart of Kashmir's main city in three days, raising fears of more such strikes, police said. REUTERS/Fayaz Kabli (INDIAN-ADMINISTERED KASHMIR)

Veiled women activists of the All Parties Hurriyat Conference (APHC) shout slogans during a protest in Srinagar, India, Saturday, April 24, 2010. The activists were protesting the death sentences given to three members of the Jammu-Kashmir Islamic Front convicted in a 1996 bombing in New Delhi

People carry the body of Khursheed Ahmad Parray during a funeral in Khan Sahib, about 30 km (19 miles) west of Srinagar March 16, 2010. Parray, a pedestrian was killed and five others wounded on Tuesday in a second militant attack on security forces in the heart of Kashmir's main city in three days, raising fears of more such strikes, police said. REUTERS/Fayaz Kabli (INDIAN-ADMINISTERED KASHMIR)

KUWAIT

Kuwaiti MPs attend a parliament session at the Kuwait's national assembly in Kuwait City on April 13. Kuwait's parliament approved the first reading of a privatisation bill on Thursday that has drawn strong protests from the opposition and trade unions and accusations of selling off the country. (AFP/File/Yasser al-Zayyat)

THAILAND

(Ed Note: IS IT A MOCKERY OR IS THERE SOME TRUTH TO THE BELIEF THAT BELOW FIVE-YEAR-OLD PIG-TAILED MACAQUE MONKEY WOULD HELP IN IMPROVING THE LOCAL POLICE FORCE'S IMAGE AND RELATIONS WITH THE MUSLIM POPULATION?)

Santisuk, which means 'peace' in Thai, a five year old pig-tailed macaque monkey, wears a police shirt as he drinks from a bottle in Saiburi district in Yala province, in southern Thailand, April 1, 2010. The monkey, who was found injured and adopted by local policemen, goes dressed in uniform on patrol every day to help improve force's image and relations with population in troubled predominantly Muslim province, policemen who man the animal said. Separatists are blamed for most of the attacks on Thailand's predominantly Muslim deep south, which often target Buddhists and Muslims associated with the Thai state, such as police, soldiers, government officials and teachers. (yahoo.news.photos)

Santisuk (peace in Thai language), a five-year-old pig-tailed macaque monkey, wears a police shirt as he rides atop a patrolling vehicle in Saiburi district in Yala province in southern Thailand April 1, 2010.

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - DUBAI

An Emirati man riding a camel passes by foreign women sunbathing on a beach in the Gulf emirate of Dubai. With tolerance wearing thin for behaviour considered inappropriate, more and more Emiratis are denouncing the "offensive" customs of the very foreigners who are contributing to their country's success. (AFP/File/Karim Sahib)

AFRICA

NIGERIAN PRESIDENT DIES

Nigeria president Umaru Yar'Adua, pictured in 2007, has died, leaving Acting President Goodluck Jonathan to take over in this oil-rich nation rivenby often-violent religious and political divisions. (AFP/File/Pius Utomi Ekpei)

A combo image showing Nigeria's new president Goodluck Jonathan (L) in 2009 and late president Umaru Yar'Adua in 2007. Jonathan was sworn in Thursdayas president of the oil-rich African nation riven by religious and political divisions, hours after the death of the incumbent Yar'Adua. (AFP/File/Wole Emmanuel/Pius Utomi Ekpei)

IVORY COAST

Ivorian Muslims pray in front of the Fitya mosque of the popular Abobo district of Abidjan, in 2009. In the space of a century, Africa has morphed from a continent dominated by traditional beliefs, to one where the majority of people are Christian or Muslim, a US study shows. (yahoo.news.photos)

UNITED STATES

18 year old lesbian student wanted to invite her girlfriend for PROM.

(ED NOTE: We support every practicing Muslim parent's right to raise their child to grow up to be a good practicing Muslima. Is there anything that a Muslim parent can learn from below 18 year old lesbian student who wanted to invite her girlfriend for the prom ? )

This 2009 photo released by Constance McMillen's family via The ACLU of Mississippi, taken in Fulton, Miss., shows Constance McMillen, 18, a student at the Itawamba County Agricultural High School. The American Civil Liberties Union had demanded she be allowed to bring her girlfriend, who is also a student at the school to the April 2, 2010, prom. The school board met, Wednesday, March 10, 2010, and issued a statement announcing it wouldn't host the prom at the Itawamba County Agricultural High School. (AP Photo/The McMillen Family via The ACLU of Mississippi)

ENTERING THE WORLD OF EXTREMISTS:

(AP photo by Dimitri Messinis / April 12, 2010)

Supporters chant slogans as police escort Nikos Maziotis, a suspected member of the Greek terrorist group Revolutionary Struggle, outside court in Athens. Maziotis and five other suspects were charged with membership in the country's most active far-left terrorist group which has claimed responsibility for a string of bombings and a rocket attack on the U.S. embassy in Athens.

EXTREMIST ANTI-ABORTIONIST:

(Ed Note: In general, we are opposed to abortion with certain exceptions. However we oppose the homicidal act of Scott Roeder in murdering Dr. George Tiller even though Scott claims to have killed the doctor "to save the lives of unborn babies").

Scott Roeder, who was convicted of the murder of Kansas abortion doctor George Tiller, is seen in this undated file booking photograph. Roeder, an anti-abortion activist who murdered one of America's few late-term abortion providers, was sentenced to life in prison on April 1, 2010, in a case that galvanized both sides of the bitter U.S. debate over abortion. REUTERS

The casket of Dr. George Tiller is brought out of College Hill United Methodist Church in 2009 in Wichita, Kansas. A born-again Christian who said he killed a prominent US abortion doctor to save the lives of unborn babies was sentenced Thursday to life in prison with no chance of parole for 50 years. (AFP/Getty Images/File/Kelly Glasscock)

ISRAEL EXTREMISTS:

(Ed Note: We really feel sorry for below extremist's pathetic ignorance)

A PEEK OUTSIDE THE ISLAMIC BOX:

Greek Orthodox priests take part in a Good Friday reenactment of Christ being taken down from the crucifix, at the Pendeli Monastery, near Athens, on Friday, April 2, 2010. Orthodox Christians around the world celebrate Easter on Sunday, April 4. (AP Photo/Petros Giannakouris)

Penitents known as Las 'Mar’as', dressed in black are escorted by other penitents during a procession in San Vicente Sonsierra, Spain, Friday, April 2, 2010. Hundreds of processions take place throughout Spain during the Easter Week (AP Photo/Iban Suberviola)

A Greek Orthodox priest takes part in a Good Friday reenactment of Christ being taken down from the crucifix, at the Pendeli Monastery, near Athens, on Friday, April 2, 2010. Orthodox Christians around the world celebrate Easter on Sunday, April 4. (AP Photo/Petros Giannakouris)

A woman sunbathes on the beach as penitents of the Santisimo Cristo del Salvador y el Amparo brotherhood carry a figure of Jesus on a cross during an Easter Holy Week procession in Valencia, Spain Friday April, 2, 2010. Hundreds of processions take place throughout Spain during the Easter Holy Week. (AP Photo/Alberto Saiz)

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE
(Thanks to Dr. Lewis for forwarding below via e-mail)

GREAT BAR ROOM SIGNS:

(1) If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Congress!
Men's restroom
House of Representatives,
Washington , DC

(2) "Make love, not war"

Hell, do both GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station
Bozeman , MT

(3) "Beauty is only a light switch away".
Perkins Library
Duke University
Durham , NC

THREE WORDS: I LOVE IT

There are female jokes and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke.

I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it!

A woman villa fan was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for £20.00...

" on one condition..."

Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed £20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said.....

"Clean my house."

(YOU GO, GIRL!)

THE END