VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 173, March 6, 2011
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficial and the Most Merciful

EDITORIAL:

There are currently many forces around us that seem tempting to emulate in order to be "cool" or be "one among them" or to "go with the flow". Nothing is more important than an adult individual's personal right and liberty to choose whatever he or she feels is best to follow or emulate in the global market place of ideas and value systems.

In as much as we would like to follow the Quranic verse of "THERE IS NO COMPULSION IN ISLAM", in terms of us not forcing our opinion on others, we expect the same from non-Muslims towards us. As we have indicated in our previous issues, there are extreme secular forces that appear to slowly but gradually lead the masses towards the destruction of FAMILY - the smallest social unit.

The people of Abrahamic faith have many common areas in which they could cooperate and work together specially as it pertains to defend marriage which we believe is between a man and a woman and also to defend the institution of FAMILY. We appeal to people of all faiths to explore avenues that lead to greater interfaith cooperation.

We as Muslims extend our invitation to all non-Muslims to join us to defend the above important institution of FAMILY.

While we would like to avoid criticism or negativity, we sure do love to affirm our right to practice Islam in our personal lives to the best of our ability. In this E-zine initially we are focusing on societal trends that point towards destruction of family and then we also discuss other issues related to interfaith relations, health, mental health, sexual health et.c.

PART A

“Schools Need to Teach about Orgasms”
says US Teachers Union to United Nations

Lauren Funk

www.lifesitenews.com
March 03, 2011
(condensed version)

NEW YORK, (C-FAM)

Graphic sex education for youth is the new battleground at the UN, as evidenced by side events during the past week at the Commission on the Status of Women.

“Oral sex, masturbation, and orgasms need to be taught in education,” Diane Schneider told the audience at a panel on combating homophobia and transphobia. Schneider, representing the National Education Association (NEA), the largest teachers union in the US, advocated for more “inclusive” sex education in US schools, with curricula based on liberal hetero and homosexual expression.

The UN system was also advocating for the sexualization of youth at this year’s CSW.

The panelists presented the highly controversial UNESCO guidelines on Sex Education, as well as a new IPPF-sponsored curriculum as the gold standard for comprehensive sex education. Both curriculums promote a liberal approach to sex, approve of masturbation, and expose children to graphic content in their youngest years.

PART B

United Nations Promotes Prostitution As Harm Reduction

Terrence Mckeegan

(LifeSiteNews.com)
Feb 24, 2011
(condensed version)

Family is Under ‘Permanent Attack’ by United Nations, Says Cardinal

United Nations Population Fund Leader Says Family Breakdown is a Triumph for Human Rights

NEW YORK, February 24 (C-FAM)

A United Nations agency is actively funding the full legalization of prostitution with the support of UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. The agency even partnered with a prostitution advocacy group to co-chair a UN advisory group on HIV and “sex work.”

UNAIDS, a joint program of the major UN agencies, is promoting “sex work” programs under the guise of harm reduction in combating HIV/AIDS and preventing discrimination against vulnerable groups.

One UNAIDS-funded organization is the Network of Sex Work Projects (NSWP). The NSWP is the featured website on the controversial Interagency Youth Working Group, a US-funded project. The NSWP is described as an “alliance of sex workers and organizations that provide services to sex workers and promote sex workers’ health and human rights.”

On their website, NSWP actually takes credit for the term ‘sex worker’ replacing ‘prostitute’. “More than mere political correctness,” says NSWP, “this shift in language had the important effect of moving global understandings of sex work toward a labour framework which signposts solutions to many of the problems faced by sex workers. It also questions the stigma of sex work and represents greater recognition of sex workers as rights bearers, with the capacity to make a difference.”

One of NSWP’s major publications is “Making Sex Work Safe.” The introduction of the publication states, “In general, sex workers have high numbers of sexual partners. But this in itself does not necessarily increase the chances of becoming infected with HIV. If condoms are used consistently and correctly, sex workers will not contract HIV – no matter how many clients they have. This means that sex work can be safe.”

Section 5 of “Making Sex Work Safe” is called “Safe Commercial Sex”, and features a graphic photo of an educator demonstrating the use of condoms in oral sex. The section offers the advice that “sex workers need a range of skills that enable them to maximize their income and reduce exposure to HIV.”

PART C

Marie Stopes Advocates Anal Sex For Teens In Explicit ‘Safe Sex’ Music Video

www.LifeSiteNews.com
Feb 10, 2011
Rebecca Millette
(condensed version)

LONDON

A sexually explicit music video sponsored by abortion giant Marie Stopes International is promoting anal sex as a contraceptive option for teens.

“Rule of thumb, one up the bum and it’s no harm done. One up the bum and you won’t be a mum,” says one line in the risqué ‘safe sex’ video by comic rap group, The Midnight Beast, entitled “Use ya Head.”

Anal sex is strongly linked to many dangerous and deadly diseases, including HPV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Herpes. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have outlined the grave risks of anal sex, especially the potential of contracting HPV. “It is estimated that about 1,600 new cases of HPV-associated anal cancer are diagnosed in women and about 900 are diagnosed in men each year in the United States.”

The video, sponsored by Marie Stopes, questions the audience in 1980’s style rap “do you or don’t you, use your head when you go to bed?” It goes on to spell out “condoms,” “implant,” and “contraception” as necessary prerogatives to “going to bed.”

It has received over 117,600 YouTube views to date and links young viewers directly to a site, havealarc.com, outlining contraception options – all sponsored by Marie Stopes International.

Marie Stopes International is one of the world’s largest international abortion groups, and receives an estimated £30 million a year from the UK’s National Health Service.

PART D

Adultery Incorporated — The Infidelity Industry

Albert Mohler
(www.LifeSiteNews.com)
Feb 14, 2011
(condensed version)

“Monogamy, in my opinion, is a failed experiment.” That is the declaration of Noel Biderman, a Toronto businessman who wants to sell you an adulterous affair. As the current cover story of Bloomberg Businessweek reveals, Mr. Biderman is doing a great deal of business.

The magazine describes AshleyMadison.com as “the premier ‘dating’ website for aspiring adulterers.” Biderman says he came up with the idea after serving as an agent for professional athletes. That job required him to negotiate around the adulterous affairs of his clients. Biderman came to the conclusion that adultery could be big business.

Now, Ashley Madison grosses $60 million in yearly revenue and produces $20 million in annual profits. Biderman himself is making millions of dollars a year, and adultery appears to be a growth industry.

The idea behind Ashley Madison is easy enough to understand. Biderman’s plan was to create a website that would appear to cater to women seeking an adulterous partner, while actually attracting men seeking the women for an adulterous liaison. Clients of the site establish a personal profile, check off their “availability status,” and mark their personal preferences. The real money flows to the site when men connect online with women and then have to pay rather steep fees for the privilege of continuing the conversation.

If all goes according to plan, adultery soon follows.

Businessweek’s reporter, Sheelah Kolhatkar, describes Noel Biderman as “a lone genius — possibly evil and certainly entrepreneurial.” He serves as chief executive officer of Avid Life Media, the parent company for Ashley Madison. He is also the married father of two young children.

In his office the computer monitor flashes his company’s promotional message: “Life is short. Have an affair.”

The same could be said for a house of prostitution, of course, and at least some observers suggest that prostitution is basically what Ashley Madison is all about. After all, though almost all of the men registered at the site are married, about 20 percent of the women are not.

Nevertheless, anthropologist Helen Fisher accuses Biderman of “preying on human frailty.”

Sheelah Kolhatkar describes the company in these terms:

'What Ashley Madison does is legal. It’s also illicit, in that it helps users violate their marriage vows and engage in deception and secrecy. !”

PART E

European Court Could Rule Traditional Marriage Benefits Discriminatory

Terrence Mckeegan
www.lifesitenews.com
March 3, 2011
(condensed version)

LUXEMBOURG

Legal experts warn that a European court is on the verge of deciding that Germany’s privileged legal status for traditional marriage violates European Union law.

An Advocate General for the European Court of Justice, which is the highest court in matters of European Union law, issued an opinion to the court which states that same-sex couples must have access to the same employment benefits as married couples in every EU state, regardless of a state’s constitutional laws.

A leading Austrian homosexual rights activist has called the Advocate General’s opinion “groundbreaking”. “If the ECJ follows it, all 27 member-states will have to grant same-sex couples access to all the employment benefits married couples enjoy, no matter if they allow registered partnership or not,” said Dr. Helmut Graupner.

Such a legal theory taken to its logical end could go further than just changing employment benefits and would likely be used to try to overturn traditional marriage laws in each of the 27 countries of the European Union.

“The European Union was founded on respect for national sovereignty,” Roger Kiska, Legal Counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund, told the Friday Fax. “If the Advocate General’s opinion is followed, it destroys this sovereignty making all European nations vulnerable to legislation promoting anti-life and anti-family laws despite the national will of that country. It is not the role of the ECJ to legislate for all of Europe without Europe having a say in the matter,” said Kiska.

According to the European Commission website, “Registered partnerships allow 2 people who live together as a couple to register their union with the relevant public authority in their country of residence.” Currently, 12 of the 27 EU states do not recognize registered partnerships as being equivalent to marriage.

Court observers believe a final ruling by the judges of the ECJ in the case is imminent.

PART F

SEXUAL HEALTH:

Oral Sex Causing Oral Cancer Rates to Rise: Studies

www.lifesitenews.com
March 4, 2011
Rebecca Millette
(condensed version)

Doctors in Canada and the United States are expressing concern over the dramatic rise in cancers of the head and neck, which, studies are indicating, are caused by the human papilloma virus (HPV) being transmitted through oral sex.

About 2,000 cases of head and neck cancers are diagnosed each year in Canada and about 1,500 of these are caused by HPV, transmitted through oral sex, reported CTV News medical specialist Avis Favaro earlier this week.

Studies in the United States indicate that HPV is now the leading cause of head and neck cancers at 64 percent, even rising above smoking, tobacco chewing, and drinking.

While HPV is best known as the cause of cervical cancer in women, doctors are saying that the new trend of head and neck cancers is surprising and concerning. Young people, they say, are unaware that oral sex is not safe and the result is that more and more of them are contracting HPV-related cancer through oral sex. The virus, contracted during the teen years or early twenties, can often remain dormant for decades.

“Younger people, that are healthy, that are non-smokers and non-drinkers are developing cancers of the tonsil and the back of the tongue,” said head and neck surgeon Dr. Anthony Nichols of the London Health Sciences Center in Ontario.

“The more oral sexual encounters you have, the more likely you are to develop HPV-related oralpharyngeal cancer,” said Dr. Marina Salvadori, a paediatric infectious diseases expert at the London Health Science Center.

The rates, said Dr. Nichols, are increasing by 3 percent each year. “Three per cent a year in 10 years - that is about 30 per cent each decade. In cancer terms, that is huge,” said Nichols.

In the United States, researchers have found a 225 percent increase in oral cancer from 1974 to 2007, predominantly in white males, reported Dr. Maura Gillison of Ohio State University, who has been researching HPV and cancer for 15 years

“When you compare people who have an oral infection or not ... the single greatest factor is the number of partners on whom the person has performed oral sex,” said Dr. Gillison at the American Association for the Advancement of Science meeting in Washington this week.

According to the Oral Cancer Foundation, “HPV has now been shown to be sexually transmitted between partners and is conclusively implicated in the increasing incidence of young nonsmoking oral cancer patients … Based on recent data, it appears that in people under the age of 50, HPV-associated oral cancers may even be replacing tobacco as the primary causative agent in the initiation of the disease process.”

“Teens really have no idea that oral sex is related to any outcome like STIs (sexually transmitted infections), HPV, chlamydia, and so on,” said Dr. Bonnie Halpern-Felsher of the University of California San Francisco, who has studied teenagers’ attitudes and sexual behaviors.

According to Halpern-Felsher’s studies, young people view oral sex as “less risky” and say it is “more prevalent” among teens and 20-year-olds.

While vaccines are being developed and approved in the United States for cervical cancer which may be of use in types of HPV head and neck cancers, doctors warn that research has still not determined the effect on patients five years down the road or later.

“We know from all of the very good modeling studies that have been done throughout the world that if the vaccine does not last for a minimum of 15 years, cervical cancer will not be prevented, it will only be postponed,” she said.

Doctors and researchers are telling practitioners, educators, and parents they must inform young people of the huge risks of oral sex and the dangerous long-term effects.

PART G

HEALTH

Africa: HIV a Challenge in Religion
March 6, 2011

Hundreds of religious leaders across the globe are living with HIV, yet are afraid to come out because of the stigma attached to it. INERELA (INTERNATIONAL NETWORK OF RELIGiOUS LEADERS) is a network of religious leaders across the globe which gives support to faith-based communities who are afraid to talk about HIV due to the stigma.

HIV/Aids affects everyone and the religious community is no exception. The International Network of Religious Leaders who are living with or are personally affected by HIV/Aids (INERELA) is an organisation that offers support to some of these religious leaders. INERELA offers counselling on how to deal with stigma and disclosure.

The network is spread all over Africa in close to 20 different countries, including Zambia, Madagascar, Nigeria, Uganda and Ghana.

He says one of the major challenges that religious leaders face is stigma and discrimination. He believes that it is unfortunate that society still thinks that religious leaders can't get HIV infection. He shares an example of a recent account he had at a mobile HIV testing station.

The Muslim community is no exception to the challenges raised by Reverend Mokgethi-Heath. Positive Muslims is an NGO based in Cape Town and services the people of the Western Cape who are either infected or affected by HIV/Aids.

Director of the organisation, Raoul Swart, says society puts a lot of pressure on the Muslim community about family values.

"This is where the denial comes in because there are a lot of strict guidelines put by people outside of the Muslim community and those within the Muslim community on family values and morality.

Often, people think that as Muslim community they would not be placing themselves at risk of HIV because of this". Swart says, however, there have been some small shifts in the Muslim community regarding HIV/Aids. He says people are slowly taking a step forward towards accepting HIV in their communities.

"There has definitely been a shift in the Muslim community - in particular with people wanting to know more about HIV, people taking more responsibility for their health and realising that it's not just a simple issue, there are other factors involved with the spread of HIV.

There really needs to be greater awareness because then, we can respond better to issues around HIV. Organisations such as "Positive Muslims" have had greater success in reaching the community who are coming forward seeking services and asking for workshops, etc.

Of late, we've had good networking with other Muslim organisations who have partnered for various campaigns which were greatly received by the Muslim community and broader community as well", says Swart. Meanwhile, Reverend JP Mokgethi-Heath says knowing his HIV status has changed his outlook on religion and has had a tremendous impact on his work.

PART H

(ED NOTE:

We found two important statements from below article to be a cause of concern:

(1) "A new study from UCSF, published last week in Environmental Health Perspectives, found several toxic chemicals in 99 percent to 100 percent of the pregnant women studied. Pregnant women were tested for 163 chemicals commonly found in pesticides, personal care products, non-stick cookware, and other common household items".

(2) "In many cases, the effects of these toxic chemicals on babies don’t show up until later in life. Pregnant women have enough to worry about these days. They can’t – and shouldn’t have to – shoulder all the burden and responsibility for ensuring their babies are free from toxic chemicals".

If you are interested to read the full article, please click Toxic Chemicals in Pregnant Women. www.rhrealitycheck.org)

PART I

MENTAL HEALTH

www.thestar.com
February 27, 2011

Anyone can suffer from mental illness, says doctor

GEORGE TOWN: Don’t let a smiling face or a happy personality hide the fact that a person may be suffering from a mental illness.

Penang Hospital consultant psychiatrist Dr Lai Fong Hwa said mental illnesses came in many forms and no one was immune.

“Although disorders like schizophrenia are at the severe end of mental illnesses, there are many others that include eating disorders and depression.

“Anyone – young or old, rich or poor, from normal everyday people to prime ministers – can suffer from any type of these illnesses,” Dr Lai said at the Nationwide Awareness Programme to Reduce Stigma Associated with Mental Illnesses talk at the Caring Society Complex here.

He said sufferers of these illnesses did not necessarily look depressed or upset all the time.

“The fact that they are smiling does not mean that they are not having problems,” Dr Lai said.

He said even well-known personalities like the late Hong Kong singer-actor Leslie Cheung, former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and American film producer and aviator Howard Hughes had suffered from mental illnesses ranging from depression to Alzheimer’s and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

“The workshop will move to Kuala Lumpur on March 27, then to Kedah, Perak, Malacca and Johor,” Lee said. For more information and registration, call D’Home at 04-2291111 or 04-2278082.

PART J

(ED NOTE:
Dear Muslim Brothers and Sisters:
Be proud to follow Islam in terms of getting married and then living together with your sweetheart, rather than living as boyfriend and girlfriend. Below research further supports what we follow from our faith)

Marriage significantly helps longevity, mental health, study finds

THADDEUS BAKLINSKI
(LifeSiteNews.com)
Jan 31, 2011

CARDIFF, Wales

Two medical students at Cardiff University studying existing data on the relationship of marriage to health have concluded that “stable, long term, exclusive relationships” lead to “more healthy lifestyles and better emotional and physical health,” and have a marked effect on longevity.

Authors David Gallacher and John Gallacher cite a Cambridge study of “one billion person years across seven European countries that found that married persons had age adjusted mortality rates that were 10-15% lower than the population as a whole,” and that this statistic alone makes stable marriage “probably worth the effort.”

The two said that “marriage generally indicates a deeper commitment” which “might explain why marriage is associated with better mental health outcomes than cohabiting.”

The authors found that “physical and mental health benefits seem to accrue over time,” citing a 30-year longitudinal study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry which found that “the duration of a relationship was associated with better mental health scores, while the difference in mortality rates in favour of marriage, increases with age.”

“In terms of physical health, men benefit more from being in a relationship than women, but in terms of mental health women benefit more than men,” the researchers observe.

They posit that “the physical health premium for men is likely to be caused by their partner’s positive influence on lifestyle. The mental health bonus for women may be due to a greater emphasis on the importance of the relationship in women.”

“The take home message is simple,” the authors conclude. “Exclusive and supportive relationships confer substantial mental and physical health benefits that grow over time.”

The study, titled “Are relationships good for your health?” was published in the British Medical Journal on January 28, 2011.

PART K

Delaying Sex, Stronger Marriages

www.aolhealth.com
December 29, 2010
Deborah Huso

While few couples in the U.S. wait until marriage to have sex anymore, new research suggests that delaying sex may improve the long-term outcomes of marriage.

That doesn't mean couples need necessarily wait until they walk down the aisle, but if you really like that new person you're dating, you might want to hold off on jumping between the sheets ... at least for a little while.

After studying more than 2,000 heterosexual individuals with an average age of 36, all in their first marriages, reseachers with Brigham Young University's School of Family Life discovered that those who had sex with their spouses within the first month of dating were much less satisfied with their marriages than those who had waited longer or waited until after marriage. The results of the study were published in the Journal of Family Psychology on Tuesday.

If this latest study, led by Dr. Dean Busby, holds water, its results may not bode well for the future of a lot of American marriages. According to data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, 50 percent of couples initiate premarital sex within a month of the first date.

Busby's research data indicates that couples who waited until marriage to have sex rated their relationship stability 22 percent higher than those who had sexual relations in the first month of dating, LiveScience reported. They also rated the sexual quality of their relationship 15 percent higher.

It's not just the cheapening of the experience, however. Busby points out that sex early on in a relationship may confuse the decision-making process in couples and lead them to continue relationships that aren't really working.

Piorkowski agrees, noting that it's important for couples to establish shared interests, values, and emotional intimacy before engaging in sexual intimacy. "If you have a lot of sexual feelings for someone, you may confuse it with love," she points out, "especially when you're a young person.

PART L

Look Who’s “Talking” Now:
A Fetus Is Scheduled to Testify in Front of Lawmakers in Ohio

Martha Kempner

March 1, 2011

(VIDEO) Look Who’s “Talking” Now: A Fetus Is Scheduled to Testify in Front of Lawmakers in Ohio

A fetus is scheduled to testify in front of the Ohio legislature. I kid you not. Though I suppose I should rephrase that to say that an “unborn human individual” is scheduled to testify as that is the term that the bill, originally introduced by Representative Lynn Wachtman, prefers.

The legislation, nicknamed the “Heartbeat Bill,” is being piloted in Ohio by a group called Faith 2 Action and seeks to make illegal all abortions that take place after a fetal heartbeat can be detected. It defines “unborn human individual” as “an individual organism of the species homo sapiens from fertilization until live birth.” And one of these organisms is apparently going to address the Ohio House of Representatives.

How exactly its handlers are going to arrange this is not quite clear, though it appears that a woman who is nine weeks pregnant is going to have an ultrasound on the spot.

(It seems worth noting that at nine weeks fetuses tend to be too small to be detected by the classic over-the-belly ultrasounds of TV and movies, so in order for the audience to see this “witness,” it will be necessary to use an intra-vaginal probe.) It seems obvious to me that the witness, described by Faith 2 Action as “the youngest witness to ever come before the House Health Committee,” will not actually be speaking. W

While the pregnant woman may have something to say, my guess is that the bill’s supporters are hoping that a picture really is worth a thousand words.

PART M

INTER FAITH RELATIONS

Muslims Rally Against Christian Attacks
www.cathnewsindia.com
Feb 14, 2011

Muslims have staged a rally in Mangalore to protest against attacks on Christians by Hindu radical groups.

“Christians educate children and provide medical care for elders,” said Ali Hassan, convener of the Muslim Central Committee of Mangalore that organized the protest on Feb. 11.

“But they are rewarded with continuous attacks on their churches by Hindu extremists. This can never be Hinduism or patriotism,” Hassan asserted.

The Muslim leader said they organized the rally to protest a government commission repo that exonerated Hindu extremists from attacks on churches in the state in 2008.

Mohammad Kunni, a Muslim youth leader, lamented attempts by Hindu extremists to brand Muslims as terrorists and Christians as conversion agents.

He noted that Christians, Hindus and Muslims live together in Indian villages sharing joys and sorrows and transcending social and religious barriers.

K. L. Ashok, a Hindu and secretary of the forum for communal harmony, told the protesters to reject the commission’s report as it has not done justice to Christians even after a two-year investigation.

Philomena Peres, a Catholic and former state Women’s Commission president, said the government “wasted” 190 million rupees (US$4.2 million) in producing a “biased and unjust report” on anti-Christian violence.

Some 2,000 people joined the rally which started at a local mosque an ended at the district commissioner’s office.

The Muslim leaders later presented a letter to the commissioner demanding a probe by the Central Bureau of Investigation into the church attacks.
Source: ucanews.com

PART N

Christians, Muslims Urged to Interact

www.cathnewsindia.com
February 28, 2011

Christian and Muslim leaders at the Islamic Studies Association meet in Bhopal

A meeting of Christians and Muslims in Madhya Pradesh has stressed the need for the two minority communities to work together to create a just society.

“The more we interact and exchange ideas the more we stand to gain as a society and as a nation,” Archbishop Leo Cornelio of Bhopal, who heads the Catholic Church in Madhya Pradesh, told the biennial convention of the Islamic Studies Association (ISA).

Around 300 Christian and Muslim delegates attended a convention organized by the association in Bhopal.

“This kind of initiatives would help us know each other better and lead to greater understanding and co-operation,” Archbishop Cornelio said.

ISA secretary Father Pushpa Anbu wants more people to attend such programs to dispel misunderstanding between Christians and Muslims.

“We stand divided merely because we are ignorant of each other,” the Divine Word priest said after the convention.

Father Anbu objected to branding some people as terrorists just because they follow a particular religion. “No religion engages its members for terror,” asserted the priest, who is a specialist on Islam.

Father Anand Muttungal, general secretary of the Madhya Pradesh bishops’ Commission for Ecumenism and Dialogue, said the convention has boosted relations between Christians and Muslims in the state.

Sajid Ali, a Muslim lawyer who attended the program, sought Christians’ help to educate members of his community and bring them to the mainstream. He blamed ignorance for the backwardness in his community.

Anwar Saffi, a Muslim scholar, told the convention that his religion had taught him to treat everyone equally and live for others. He also called for closer ties with other religions to foster peace and harmony.

(Source: ucanews.com)


THE END

VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 172, February 27, 2010
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful

EDITORIAL:

Allah stated in the Holy Quran that "MANKIND IS BUT ONE COMMUNITY". Based on above Quranic verse, we strongly believe that the entire humanity is but one family. While in reality, Islam represents tolerance and peace, our Muslim extremists supposedly claiming to represent Islam represent INTOLERANCE and VIOLENCE. They have no qualms killing innocent men, women and children in not only public places but also within the House of Allah (Mosques). Their barbaric ruthlessness, total indifference to the value of life, abject apathy and intense hate knows no bounds and we continue to wonder how Global Ummah has tolerated such anti-islamic elements thus far.

At the risk of getting death threats, we have no hesitation to declare that in our personal opinion, such extremists are the ENEMIES OF THE PEACE LOVING RELIGION OF ISLAM. Their perverse interpretation of Islam has created undue hardship first to all the Muslims of the world and then to other non-Muslims.

Luckily they are only a small minority and we call upon the majority of the Global Ummah to join us to condemn such extremists and their anti-islamic actions that bring nothing but more insecurity, death, bloodshed, destruction and chaos on a local, national and international level.

We appeal to all Muslims to reach out to our non-Muslim brothers and sisters in humanity and put in practice of what Allah wanted us to do by declaring in the Holy Quran: "MANKIND IS BUT ONE COMMUNITY".

PART I

Religious Leaders to Promote Brotherhood

(www.cathnewsindia.com)

Jan 10, 2011

At their first meeting this year, Buddhist, Catholic, Muslim and Protestant leaders in North Jakarta decided on a series of actions to promote “true brotherhood.”

“Let us, Catholics, be pioneers in promoting a true brotherhood between us through concrete actions,” Father Antonius Suyadi, head of Jakarta archdiocese’s Commission for Youth, told 100 people from different religious communities who attended the Jan. 9 meeting in Kelapa Gading.

The meeting on the theme “Let us promote the spirit of unity and peace” was jointly organized by the Commission for Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs and the Youth Desk of St. Jacob’s Church in Kelapa Gading.

According to Father Suyadi, the meeting aimed to create peaceful relations between people from different religious backgrounds.

“We want to build harmonious relations and to strengthen them through social services including helping the poor,” he said.

Reverend Sammy Paat, a Protestant, endorsed the aims.

“This is a concrete action and also our contribution to the nation,” he remarked.

Buddhist participant Suwarno emphasized the need for mutual understanding.

“We should jointly establish a forum for interreligious dialogue and promote mutual understanding,” he suggested.

In his speech, Jupan Royter Tampubolon, who heads Kelapa Gading subdistrict, thanked the religious leaders.

“Brotherhood has indeed been built. We are promoting it now both in person and in groups through good communication. We should not wait for a problem to happen,” he concluded.

Source: ucanews.com

PART II

Non-Muslims not Enemies of Islam – Brother Adam

GNA - Ghana News Agency
Apr 21 2009

An Islamic teacher said the perception by some Muslims that people of other religions are enemies of Islam is a misconception and contrary to the teachings of the Koran.

Brother Baba Adam, also founder of Islamic Centre for Computerization of Dawah, at Wa in the Upper West Region, advised Muslims with such view to change their minds sets since every body was a potential Muslim.

He was speaking at a symposium to mark the 10th anniversary celebration of the Sunyani Polytechnic branch of Ghana Muslim Students Association (GMSA), under the theme: “The importance of seeking knowledge in the modern world”, in Sunyani at the weekend.

Brother Adam said the false impression among some Muslims was partly due to the inappropriate approach to the dissemination of the message in the Koran.

He said: “The negative stereotyping of Islam is caused by some Muslims themselves and not the teaching itself because the Islamic teaching is totally different from how outsiders see it”.

The Islamic teacher said that the right approach to the propagation of Islam was to accommodate the views of everyone and create congenial atmosphere for non-Muslims to listen to the message.

Brother Adam advised other Islamic teachers to have thorough understanding of the teachings of Islam from authentic sources to be able to deliver the right messages.

He urged them to be abreast with information communication technology (ICT), to enable them to be able to propagate the message of Islam effectively.

Sheik Ahmed Nazir, lecturer at the Ghana Institute of Languages in Kumasi, urged Muslims to pursue education to acquire knowledge to enable them to play fitting roles in development.

Sheik Ismail Sa-eed Adam, Deputy Chief Imam of Ahlil Sunna Wal Jamah, in Ashanti region, spoke on the topic: " Discipline in Islamic Perspective - the Role of Muslim Students”.

He explained that Islam was not about fundamentalism, dogmatism and extremism but a conscious effort to champion a cause for the benefit of humankind to the glory of God.

Shiek Adam advised the students to consider themselves as ambassadors of Islam and act as agents of change to transform the lives of people in their communities.

PART III

(ED NOTE:
Below article titled "Need to free Islam from the clutches of extremism" by Br. Tanveer Jafri is one of the best article we have read for a long time. If we have to grade his article, we would give it a A+)

Need to Free Islam From the Clutches of Extremism

By Tanveer Jafri
(www.modernghana.com)
Jan 15, 2011

The religion of Islam is at the crossroads at present. As is evident from the history of the religion, the biggest threat to it since the last 1450 years has been from none other than the people who call themselves 'Muslims'. But unfortunately their thoughts and actions were never in tandem with the true Islamic teachings. This was the reason that Islam, since its inception, started to break down into two major groupings- one that of the Prophet and his family members' teaching spirituality, peace, forgiveness, love and harmony, the other one represented by the power, kingdom, arrogance, cruelty, injustice and exploitation, but still vowing to symbolize Islam.

With the passage of time, the Islam of the Prophet continued its spread by way of liberal and humane teachings whereas the 'Islam' of the kings and monarchs undertook coercion and violence to continue its forceful spread. Consequently, today the true Muslim seems helpless whereas the bigots are busy degrading the Islam in front of the world.

Either it is the battlefield of Karbala 1400 years ago or medieval invasions of the Mughals or the Taliban and Al Qaeda of present, these “Muslims” have dented the image of Islam to such an extent that today it is being debated what are the actual Islamic teachings- Is it what the progressive Muslims follow across the world or is it the bloodbath that has been happening since last 1400 years in the name of Islam in different parts of the world.

Such a debate becomes an imperative when we witness that a woman like Benazir Bhutto is killed in a bomb blast. Here the killers call themselves the representatives of Islam, and their act- Jihad. All this notwithstanding that Islam prohibits assault on women and the Quranic verses say that the killing of a innocent human being tantamounts to the killing of entire humanity.

Similarly, Salmaan Taseer, the governor of Punjab province of Pakistan was killed by his own security guard. The assassin Mumtaz Qadri acknowledged that he decided to kill Taseer after listening to a Maulvi. According to him Taseer was involving in Blasphemy. And ultimately, he killed the man whose security and protection was his responsibility. Here the question is whether the bigot Qadri was following Islam by killing Taseer or was Taseer following Islam by standing for the cause of an innocent Christian woman Asia bibi? Does the Islam of Qadri and his patron Mullahs teach them to kill that very person whose protection is his duty?

More unfortunate aspect of this incident is that the killer Qadri was treated as an ideal man, hero and a victor for carrying on such a stupid and non-Islamic act of killing Taseer. He was welcomed to the court with rose petals. A big procession was organised in his support. His quick release has been demanded. Even the Mullahs refused to perform the last rites of Salmaan Taseer. While the entire world, disturbed by the killing of Taseer by his own guard, was condoling his assassination, a bunch of few crazy bigots was seen supporting and endorsing the mindless act of Qadri.

Islam belongs to whom? To Taseer who questioned the nonsensical Blasphemy law or to the jerk that killed the person whose security was his duty? No doubt, worried and scared by the terrorist acts of the Talibani “Muslims”, liberal and progressive Muslims are presently silent but even today they are in majority. This was evident when some of the extremist Mullahs were busy boycotting the last rites ceremony of Taseer, at the same time Maulana Mufti Sheikh-Ul-Islam Mohammad Idris Usmani of the famous Pakistani seminary Darul-Ifta issued a fatwa condemning the insane act of Mumtaz Qadri in the light of Islam. In his fatwa, Mufti Usmani also indicted the supporters of Qadri in the light of the holy Quran. He was asked about the view of clerics on the killing of Taseer and the point made by the killer Qadri regarding alleged blasphemy by Taseer.

In reply to the above query, Mufti Idris Usmani said that he has “carefully read the whole issue and also read various news reports and articles related to this (issue).” He had also “spoken to the jayyad ulema (eminent scholars) in Pakistan and India.” In the light of available evidence, he made the following points:

1. Malik Mumtaz Qadri has committed gunah-e-azeem (great sin) by killing an innocent soul. By taking law into his own hand, by killing an innocent man, and by bringing disgrace to the name of Islam, Malik Mumtaz Qadri has created fasad fil arz (mischief on earth) and committed tauheen-e-risalat (blasphemy to the Prophet). Same applies to those who are creating further mischief (fasad) by praising or justifying this heinous crime in the name of Islam. The killer of Salman Taseer is a real blasphemer to Islam and the holy Prophet (peace be upon him).

2. Those individuals and groups including the ignorant ulema, misguided journalists, politicians, lawyers wa deegar (etc), who are celebrating or justifying in any manner this heinous crime must be treated as accomplice in this crime. Those who endorsed a fatwa of Salman Taseer's murder too must be treated as mufsid fil arz and must be punished according to the Shariah.

3. While the state of Pakistan will pursue a legal case against the killer and his abettors according to their national laws, the verses 32 and 33 of Sura Maida from the Quran clearly specify the punishment for Malik Mumtaz Qadri and his supporters and cheerers.

The above decree, issued in the light of Islamic teachings and Quranic verses, itself is a proof that there is no scope in Islam of either killing innocents or praising/supporting such killer.

The time has come when the liberal and progressive Muslims of all the sects must close ranks together against these terror forces and launch a non-violent Jihad against them with enlightened clerics in the forefront of such Jihad.

Otherwise, these anti-Islamic and inhuman forces will succeed in denigrating Islam and establishing it as a synonym for mindless violence.

(About the Author Tanveer Jafri)

Author Tanveer Jafri is a columnist based in India.He is related with hundreds of most popular daily news papers/portals in India and abroad. Jafri, almost writes in the field of communal harmony, world peace, anti communalism, anti terrorism, national integration, national & international politics etc. He is a devoted social activist for world peace, unity, integrity & global brotherhood. Thousands articles of the author have been published in different newspapers, websites & newsportals throughout the world. He is also a receipent of so many awards in the field of Communal Harmony & other social activities).

PART IV

Terrorists have no religion

www.cathnewsindia.com

January 13, 2011

A.J. Philip

A Hindu religious leader’s recent confession that some major terrorist attacks in India in the past were the handiwork of a “Hindu” group has lent a new dimension to the discourse on terror.

Swami Aseemanand’s confession before a magistrate in Delhi in late December is not an end in itself as the police will have to corroborate his statement with evidence to have the guilty convicted.

However, the confession has evoked a mixed reaction with sections of the rightwing Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP, Indian people’s party) calling it a tissue of lies while many Muslim families, whose members had been accused of engineering the terrorist attacks and are still in jail, see it as a vindication of their claim of innocence.

What the incident underscores is that terror has no religious identity and the argument often touted by vested interests that “all Muslims are not terrorists but all terrorists are Muslims” is as specious as it is mischievous.

Make no mistake, it was not a prick of conscience that forced the self-proclaimed “swami” to make a confession.

Painstaking investigation by the police had similarities in the bomb blasts at a mosque in Malegaon, a Muslim-majority town in Maharashtra, Mecca Masjid at Hyderabad, the Sufi shrine at Ajmer and the Samjhauta Express that runs between Delhi and Lahore.

They had links with a “Hindu” rightist stamp and the “swami” was one of the kingpins of the whole operation.

The “swami” began his hate campaign, first by targeting the tribal Christians in Dangs district in Gujarat state. He unleashed a violent campaign to bring them into the Hindu fold, in the name of “homecoming.”

In wholeheartedly supporting such suspicious characters, the concept of “our terrorists versus their terrorists” has come into being.

When Australian missioner Graham Stuart Staines and his teenaged sons were burnt alive in Orissa in 1999, a Vishwa Hindu Parishad (international Hindu organization) was blamed. But then federal Home Minister and BJP leader L.K. Advani gave the outfit a clean chit.

The same phenomenon was at work when the chief of Maharashtra’s anti-terrorist squad the late Hemant Karkare arrested some “Hindu” leaders for their involvement in the Malegaon blasts.

Instead of letting him continue his work, he was vilified. Karkare’s lead had led to the arrest of the “swami,” but the police official was killed while fighting the Pakistani terrorists in Mumbai on Nov. 26, 2008.

While there is no distinction between terrorism by the members of a minority community or of the majority community, the latter is far more dangerous.

For instance, in each blast where “Hindus” were allegedly involved, police arrested and implicated local Muslim youths.

Since communalism of the majority community can pass off as nationalism, minorities like Christians face a greater threat from it.

Source: ucanews.com

PART V

Look Beyond Specific Religions, Says Prelate

www.cathnewsindia.com
January 11, 2011

An archbishop has urged leaders of various religions to look beyond their communities and promote the human family.

“Behind every civilization there is a unifying vision of reality and in our case, it is a spiritual vision, and it is the most important element in a culture,” Archbishop Thomas Menamparampil of Guwahati said at a recent colloquium in Pune.

About 100 representatives of various religions and NGOs attended the Jan. 6-8 program that addressed the theme, ‘Indian pluralism and solidarity for a just humanity.”

Archbishop Menamparampil, who initiated an inter-religious peace forum in the strife-torn northeastern India, says uniting diverse communities is a “mystic experience.”

“God reveals himself in cultures and communities when they draw closer to each other as though in a pre-ordained fashion,” the Salesian archbishop said in his keynote address. He “genuine religion” does not promote sectarianism or put up boundaries.

“All our destinies are interwoven and until the last of us has lived, the significance of the first cannot be finally clear,” he told Buddhists, Christians Hindus, Muslims, Jains, Sikhs and agnostics.

Source: ucanews.com

PART VI

Faithful urged to redefine religious standards

www.cathnewsindia.com
February 9, 2011

A Muslim co-founder and head of Indonesia’s Brotherhood Forum of Faithful has called on religious leaders and lay people to re-assess religious standards in a changing society to create more harmonious inter religious relations.

Faithful must be brave and change their theological, doctrinal and centralistic paradigms of religious life into realistic, ethical and humane paradigms of life implementation, according to Abdul Muhaimin.

“These kinds of paradigms will be able to embrace basic issues in daily life, such as justice, poverty and human rights.” he said.

Muhaimin was addressing 200 participants at a February 6 seminar in Yogyakarta to mark the forum’s 14th anniversary.

“Here the relationship between human beings and God can be cemented in the relationship between human beings,” he added.

In relationships between human beings, he said, there is wide inter-religious cooperation to promote peace in this world.

“Through this cooperation, [God willing], violence resulting from misunderstandings among faithful can be removed,” he said.

Another speaker, Susetiawan, from the University of Gadjah Mada agreed

Violence committed in the name of God happens in all religions, and the main reason could be people’s failure to adapt to social changes, he suggested.

“We adopt a new term, such as democracy-humanist. This should be followed by a change in egalitarian social structure. In fact, however, our social structure remains hierarchical. So people are easily provoked by social issues, and the response is usually violence,” the sociologist said.

Source: ucanews.com

PART VII

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE
(You cannot afford to be serious all the time)



(lolsnaps.com)



Shawarma Condoms

(www.englishrussia.com)

It has been submitted to us that in Russia there are now condoms that are being sold with the “Shawarma” flavour. Shawarma (or shwarma, shawerma, or shoarma) is the Arabic meat dish, well known all around the world.

THE END

VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 171, February 20, 2011
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and Merciful

EDITORIAL:

This issue is Part II of the topic we discussed in previous issue pertaining to the benefits of a heterosexual couple living together as husband and wife rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. We found an excellent article titled "The Foundation of the Building of Marriage" by Br. Mohammad Arif Al-Mujaddidi informative and wanted to share it with you.

islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com

GEMS FROM HOLY QURAN

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect".
Holy Quran (30:21)

"And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best".
Holy Quran (16:72)

www.islamicbulletin.org

www.pulitzer.org

"Married life in Islam is an act of worship," said Sheik Reda Shata, who in his work as an imam promotes marriage and blesses newborn babies. (Photo credit: James Estrin/The New York Times)

PART I

The Foundation of the Building of Marriage

January 2, 2011
by MOHAMMAD ARIF AL-MUJADDIDI

(www.ehidaya.wordpress.com)

People of wisdom state:

Piety and practice of Islam should be the deciding factor in marriage. That is, preferring a pious man or a pious woman is a great blessing for both worldly and otherworldly felicity. If the building of marriage is not based on this foundation with this intention and sincerity, that building is doomed to rot away and collapse.

If a man marries a girl only for her beauty, he will be deprived of her beauty. Likewise, if he marries her only for her wealth, her wealth will plague him. However, if he marries her on account of her good moral qualities and religiosity, he will not only make his worldly life and otherworldly life prosperous but also be happy and fortunate. Both the worldly life and the otherworldly life of a man who gets married to a streetwalker may be ruined. For this reason, religiosity and nobility are looked for in a girl whom a man will espouse.

Nobility means being the daughter of pious parents. Such a girl is noble, of good family. The qualities that should be looked for in a bridegroom are the same, too. He should have Ahl as-Sunnah creed, never miss prayers (salat), have good morals and sincerity. If a woman gets married to a man for his wealth, fame, or status, that is, if she marries him for his worldly goods, she will be in ruins. Accordingly, she must be extra careful about this issue.

The weaker the faith of people becomes, the more they seek what is worldly.

However, worldly possessions and the things they seek, desire, and rely on belong to Allah. He alone is the Owner of all, the Creator, and the Giver. If those who run after worldly advantages could realize only this fact, they would be torn apart from embarrassment. When trust in Allahu ta’ala is perfect, worldly possessions are not sought in the least.

The things of this world do not bring happiness by themselves. According to those with a weak faith, worldly goods provide many benefits. For example, other people say that so and so is well educated, on a high income, and has riches. Okay, but these are things that are here today but gone tomorrow. They cannot take us to eternity.

Just as faith cannot be measured by money, so even health cannot be measured by it. Suppose that one gets married in excellent physical condition but afterwards becomes blind and is left paralyzed. In this case, that money cannot even restore one’s health. Those whose sole purpose is what is worldly worry themselves to death in this situation. If the reason for the preferences of people is the world, that world will devastate them.

But if the reason for them is the next world, they will be happy and fortunate during their lifetime because those with a strong faith are patient, brave, and are not affected greatly by events. Whether they have worldly possessions or not and whether they increase or decrease does not have any effect on them. Their helper in all their affairs is Allahu ta’ala. Others’ negligence and being worn down in the face of events are due to the weakness of their faith.

Worldly things are ephemeral. Moreover, it is not certain what will befall whom a bit later. Hence, let us give our hearts to our Lord and seek His pleasure. In our choice [of a spouse], let there not be any criteria other than the adherence to the religion, faith, good moral qualities, and the next world because the criteria other than these are all temporary, uncertain, and evanescent; they are a trust, which are here today and gone tomorrow. As for faith and good morals, they are real and inexhaustible. A bride and a groom as well as a mother and a father who have this thought in their minds are the ones the soles of whose feet, rather than whose hands, should be kissed.

PART II

Cohabiting couples far more likely to suffer from partner abuse, statistics show

www.lifesitenews.com

Matthew Cullinan Hoffman

Increasing rates of violence between couples in the United States and Europe have been widely attributed to the global recession, but the problem has another dimension that is often ignored: it is far more likely to occur between unmarried, cohabiting couples than married couples.

Spanish statistics, which have been highlighted in recent years by Europe’s Family Policy Institute (FPI), and recently reported by the Spanish Newspaper ABC, indicate that:

"while only 11% of Spanish couples cohabit without marriage, such unions account for 58% of the most violent crimes between couples. For every one protection order issued for a married couple, ten are issued for cohabiting couples".

FPI also reports that, according to Spanish government statistics, “for every homicide that is brought about in a marriage, 12 are produced” in non-married couples. Moreover, the increase in such homicides in recent years is largely explained by cohabitation; homicides have jumped 45% among cohabiting couples, while they have actually fallen 15% among married couples.

Similar results have been found in statistical surveys of the United States and Britain, says Ignacio Socías, blogging for Spain’s El Razón newspaper.

“All of the official statistical studies of the Department of Justice of the USA regarding family violence, show that women who are married, including those who have been separated or divorced, have less than half the possibility of suffering [domestic violence],” Socías writes.

“In the United Kingdom, the official survey ‘The British Crime Survey’ indicates that married women are the ones who have the least risk of suffering domestic violence.

PART III

Cohabitation and Children Outside Marriage Linked to Higher Probability of Breakups: Aussie Study

www.lifesitenews.com
By Hilary White
(condensed version)

....The researchers also found that cohabiting, having children before marrying, and an imbalance between partners in the desire for children are all correlated with marital breakup.

“The overwhelming bulk of research on cohabitation and marital instability finds that cohabitation before marriage is linked to a greater probability that the marriage will fail,” said the researchers.

The study, titled “What’s Love Got to do With It?” by researchers from the Australian National University, found that 20% of couples who had children before marriage, either from a previous relationship or the same relationship, were separated compared to just 9% of couples without children born before marriage.

With data from the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia Survey (HILDA), the study tracked the history of 2,482 married or cohabiting couples over a period of six years to determine what factors might have contributed to marital “instability.”

PART IV

Living Together Before Marriage Has Disastrous Results Study Finds

www.lifesitenews.com

OTTAWA, Ontario

The Ottawa based Vanier Institute of Family reveals that “living together” comes with a heavy cost in a study entitled “Cohabitation and Marriage: How Are They Related?”

The study, published September 17 and authored by Anne-Marie Ambert, compiles results from hundreds of research papers that examined the social, emotional and financial effects of cohabitation and marriage on women, men, children and society.

The study shows that cohabitation by its nature is highly unstable, that it leads to higher divorce rates, and is detrimental to children both psychologically and physically.

“Commitment and stability are at the core of children’s needs; yet, in a great proportion of cohabitations, these two requirements are absent,” observes Ambert.

PART V

ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE

Eleven ways of increasing happiness in your marriage

www.islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com

By Dr. Aisha Hamdan

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.


1) Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings.

The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded.

Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one’s intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

2) Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one’s spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

(3) Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations

Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.


(4) Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse

Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said:

“A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing.” (Muslim)

(5) Be Your Mate’s Best Friend

Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse’s likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to, trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

(6) Spend Quality Time Together

It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

(7) Express Feelings Often:

This is probably a very “Western” concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one’s feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The “silent treatment” has never been the remedy for anything.

(8) Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness

Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.

(9) Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past

It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

(10) Surprise Each Other at Times

This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.

(11) Have a Sense of Humour

This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:

Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

THE END