VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 123, March 23, 2010
St. Louis, Missouri
Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin
In the Name of Allah,the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
EDITORIAL:
Referring to the concept of ONE GLOBAL UMMAH, Prophet Mohamed (SAW) had stated that:
“The Muslim Ummah is like one body. If the eye is in pain then the whole body is in pain and if the head is in pain then the whole body is in pain” Thanks to our Muslim Brothers and Sisters from Egypt, Jordan, Yemen, Lebanon, Turkey for practically demonstrating the pain felt when one (group) of our UMMAH (Palestinians) are in pain. We have 57 Muslim countries with about 1.5 billion Muslims. We wonder about the concern of others to the plight of Palestinians. Inshallah sooner or later, they will translate their EMOTIONAL feelings into PRACTICAL PEACEFUL ACTIONS to express their concern for Palestinians.
Part of global democracy is FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, and as Muslims we have the right to express our feelings of pain when we know that our Muslim Brothers and Sisters on the other side are in pain. However it is recommended that the demonstrations be PEACEFUL. We oppose stepping upon or burning of Israel flag, we oppose any violence or attack against Jews or their interests. We also oppose the random rocket fired into the Israeli territory. What even by chance if it hit a small child and killed the child. Killing innocents is a violation of Islamic peace loving values. Recently one of such random rockets by the Palestinians killed a farm worker from Thailand WHO HAPPEN TO BE IN THE WRONG PLACE IN THE WRONG TIME. This is unacceptable in Islam which places so much value on the sanctity of human life.
We are aware that Israel has committed human right violations in hundreds of other ways, but two wrongs don't make it right. As Muslims we need to realize that violence, killing and bloodshed is NOT the answer. We need to find alternative peaceful diplomatic ways to reach a just solution. A big liability for the Palestinians today is the DEEP DIVISIONS, LACK OF UNITY, LACK OF COHESIVENESS AND LACK OF CO-ORDINATION FROM WITHIN THE UMMAH.
If the global Ummah puts into practice the true values of ONE UMMAH, that Prophet Mohamed (SAW) had envisioned, then there is no question that the Palestinians will have their own homeland and coexist peacefully with Jews as their neighbors. The first bold step that the 1.5 billion and 57 nation strong Ummah needs to take is push the option of violence in the back burner and try alternative non-violent means to achieve the goal of Palestinian homeland.
Unfortunately Muslims while claiming to represent Islam as a religion of peace has not translated the gems of Islam into actions. If Islam is really a religion of peace, IT MUST HAVE IN ITS TOOLBOX OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, TOOLS OF PEACE TO DEAL WITH DIFFERENCES AT ANY LEVEL, BE IT, NATIONAL, REGIONAL OR PERSONAL LEVEL.
It is high time that we work towards representing ONE UMMAH regardless of Sunni, Shia or other sects or nationalities. Once we truly implement the concept of ONE UMMAH, Israel will easily recognize that in its negotiation for PEACE, it is not just dealing with the local Palestinians but with the GLOBAL UMMAH.
We abhor the extremist elements in both Islam and Judaism who vilify the opposing religion and create stereotypes of the whole religious group. We still strongly have a conviction that PEACE IS POSSIBLE BETWEEN THE ISRAELIS AND PALESTINIANS. Let's reach out with love towards both parties in and around the holy city and work for a just, permanent and lasting peace, inshallah.
(A NOTE ABOUT "PEACE: TO OUR JEWISH BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN HUMANITY)
Excerpts from the Tractate of Derech Eretz:
The Peace Chapter "These three actually are one. If JUSTICE is present then TRUTH is present and this makes PEACE. And all three are found in the same verse, as it is written, "Judge with the justice of truth and peace within your gates." Wherever there is justice there will be peace. And wherever there is peace there is justice.
(Above explains why there is no peace in the Israeli region (because there is NO justice) for the past sixty plus years)
Rabbi Yehoshua said: How great is peace, for the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, is peace, as it is said, "And he (Gideon) called [Him] God of Peace." (Judges 6:24)
JEWISH PROVERBS:
Jewish Proverb # 1: “God is closest to those with broken hearts.”
(Dear Israelis: Please be sensitive and considerate to your neighbors, the PALESTINIANS, who have been heart broken for the past several decades)
Jewish Proverb # 2: “Pray that you will never have to bear all that you are able to endure.”
(Both the Palestinians and Jews are tired of continually enduring ongoing suffering and insecurity, LET'S BOTH TOGETHER WORK FOR PEACE. First step, both of us must root out the extremists who have hijacked our path. The moderate majority in both faiths are PASSIVE AND SILENT and this MUST change in terms of being more ACTIVE AND ASSERTIVE)Jewish Proverb # 3: "No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.”
(To the President and Government of Israel: Aren't you seeing the daily violence, commotion and sufferings around you. WILL YOU NOT LISTEN ? Please work for PEACE by granting the Palestinians a homeland. We know it is very complicated process. But it needs real hard work with sincere intentions for peace, which we know you could do)
Jewish Proverb # 4: “Listen to your enemy, for God is talking.”
(Nothing could be more clear than the above and we rest our case) LONG LIVE PALESTINE(All photos from yahoo.news.photos)
Graphic showing Israeli settlements in East Jerusalem. Washington has said that expanding Israeli settlements endanger newly-agreed peace talks (AFP/Graphic)
Map of Jerusalem locating clashes between Palestinians and security forces. Hundreds of Palestinians have clashed with security forces in east Jerusalem as tension boils over in the city and a senior Hamas leader calls for a new "intifada," or uprising. (yahoo.news.photos)
(ED NOTE: (Translation of above Obama Poster is that Obama is PLO Agent in White House). Good chances that the author of above poster is an extremist and close minded. The author has basically made a mockery of all the American voters and insulted their intelligence by suggesting that they had voted a PLO agent as their leader to lead the GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH)
JORDAN
A woman carries a banner that reads in Arabic :' al-Aqsa, we respond to you,' as they march toward the United Nations House during a rally in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Jordanians burn an Israeli flag during a rally in Amman, Jordan on Tuesday March 16, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity with Jerusalem and Palestinians after Israeli forces clashed with Palestinians near Jerusalem's flashpoint al-Aqsa mosque, and the Old City. (AP Photo/Mohammad Abu Ghosh)
A Jordanian demonstrator holds a Palestinian flag during a protest near the Israeli embassy in support of Palestinians following latest clashes in Jerusalem, in Amman, Jordan, Friday, March, 19, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)
Jordanian demonstrators shout anti-Israeli slogans during a protest near the Israeli embassy in support of Palestinians following latest clashes in Jerusalem, in Amman, Jordan, Friday, March, 19, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)
Jordanian demonstrators clash with the police during a protest near the Israeli embassy in support of Palestinians following latest clashes in Jerusalem, in Amman, Jordan, Friday, March, 19, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud) Jordanian demonstrators set an Israeli flag on fire protesting against Israel's consecration of a synagogue in Jerusalem's Old City, in Amman, Jordan, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)
Jordanians burn an Israeli flag during a rally in Amman, Jordan, Tuesday March 16, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity with Palestinians after Israeli forces clashed with Palestinians near Jerusalem's flashpoint al-Aqsa mosque, and the Old City. (AP Photo / Mohammad Abu Ghosh)
Jordanian demonstrators display a placard of the dome of the rock mosque with the words written in Arabic, ' save it before they demolish it ', during a protest against Israel's consecration of a synagogue in Jerusalem's Old City, in Amman, Jordan, Tuesday, March, 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)Jordanian women demonstrators chant anti-Israeli slogans protesting against Israel's consecration of a synagogue in Jerusalem's Old City, in Amman, Jordan, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)
TURKEY
Demonstrators shout slogans and hold placards during a protest against Israel in front of the Israeli embassy in Ankara March 19, 2010. The protest was held against Israel's consecration of a synagogue in Jerusalem's Old City and to express solidarity with Palestinians in Jerusalem. The words on the placard read "long live". REUTERS/Umit Bektas
A demonstrator prays as a girl holds an Islamic flag during a protest against Israel in Istanbul March 19, 2010. REUTERS/Murad Sezer
Pro-Palestinian Turks set on fire an Israeli flag as they shout slogans to protest Israel's plans to build new housing in east Jerusalem, in Istanbul, Turkey, Friday, March 19, 2010. Israel last week announced plans to build 1,600 apartments in east Jerusalem, drawing international criticism and sparking clashes in east Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Ibrahim Usta)
Demonstrators shout Islamic slogans following Friday prayers during a protest against Israel in Istanbul March 19, 2010. The banner reads "Jerusalem: Heart of ummah, the worldwide Muslim community". REUTERS/Murad Sezer
Demonstrators carry a small model of Jerusalem's Dome of the Rock and a Hezbollah flag during a protest against Israel following Friday prayers at Beyazit Mosque in Istanbul March 19, 2010. REUTERS/Murad Sezer
A man holds a placard that reads ' Long live global Intifada ' as Pro-Palestinian Turks set on fire the Star of David, to protest Israel's plans to build new housing in east Jerusalem, near Israel embassy in Ankara, Turkey, Friday, March 19, 2010. Israel last week announced plans to build 1,600 apartments in east Jerusalem, drawing international criticism and sparking clashes in east Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Burhan Ozbilici)
Demonstrators burn an Israeli flag during a demonstration in front of the Israeli consulate in Istanbul October 26, 2009. Protesters rallied against Israel's storming of Jerusalem's al-Aqsa mosque compound on Sunday, during which stun grenades were hurled at Palestinians who had thrown rocks at them. REUTERS/Osman Orsal
A demonstrator shouts anti-Israel slogans during a demonstration in front of the Israeli consulate in Istanbul October 26, 2009. Protesters rallied against Israel's storming of Jerusalem's al-Aqsa mosque compound on Sunday, during which stun grenades were hurled at Palestinians who had thrown rocks at them. REUTERS Osman Orsal Demonstrators step on a Star of David during a protest against Israel in front of the Israeli embassy in Ankara March 19, 2010. The protest was held against Israel's consecration of a synagogue in Jerusalem's Old City and to express solidarity with Palestinians in Jerusalem. REUTERS/Umit Bektas
YEMEN
A Yemeni soldier watches as protesters attend an anti-Israeli rally in Sanaa March 19, 2010. REUTERS/Khaled Abdullah
Protesters shout slogans as they attend an anti-Israeli rally in Sanaa March 19, 2010. REUTERS/Khaled Abdullah
EGYPTEgyptian university students chant anti- Israeli slogans as they burn the Israeli flag during a rally protesting the 'Israeli violations' against Islamic shrines, outside the University of Cairo in Cairo, Egypt Monday, March 15, 2010. (AP Photo/Nasser Nouri)
LEBANON
Lebanese women from Hezbollah carry Palestinian, Lebanese and Hezbollah yellow flags, as they march toward the United Nations House during a rally in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Palestinian and Lebanese protesters carry a huge Palestinian flag as they march toward the United Nations House during a rally in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Lebanese and Palestinians carry a huge Palestinian flag during a rally held in front of the United Nations House in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Lebanese and Palestinians hold a huge Palestinian flag during a rally held in front of the United Nations House in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
A boy gestures as he holds a Palestinian and a Hezbollah yellow flag during a rally held in front of the United Nations House in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Members of the Lebanese Popular Democratic Party shout anti-Israeli slogans during a rally held at the Martyrs Square in the southern port city of Sidon, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. The banners is arabic read:' Armed struggle is the choice of revolutionary,' and ' The victory to Palestine and shame on the people who are building the wall.' (AP Photo/Mohammed Zaatari)
INSIDE THE HEARTLAND OF PALESTINE
An Israeli soldier stands guard next to three Palestinian boys who were arrested for throwing stones during clashes in the West Bank city of Hebron. The international Quartet for the Middle East met Friday in Moscow in a bid to revive the peace process despite tensions after Israel's announcement of new settler homes and a deadly rocket attack. (AFP/Hazem Bader) Israeli troops fire tear gas towards Palestinian stone-throwing protesters during clashes in the West Bank village of Iraq Burin, south of Nablus, on March 20. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Monday urged Israel to make "difficult but necessary choices" for Middle East peace as she warned that Jewish settlements undermine fresh negotiations. (AFP/File/Jaafar Ashtiyeh) Israeli soldiers fire tear gas canisters at Palestinians, not seen, during clashes in the West Bank city of Hebron, Monday, Feb. 22, 2010. A crowd of Palestinian youths pelted Israeli soldiers with stones and empty bottles on Monday, drawing tear gas and stun grenades in the most serious violence to rock this volatile West Bank city in months. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Palestinian stone-throwers gesture toward Israeli troops during clashes near the East Jerusalem neighbourhood of Wadi al-Joz March 16, 2010. Palestinians mounted violent protests in a "day of rage" in Jerusalem on Tuesday and a U.S.-Israeli crisis over a Jewish settlement project deepened with the cancellation of a U.S. peace envoy's visit. The Dome of the Rock, on the compound known to Muslims as al-Haram al-Sharif, and to Jews as Temple Mount, in Jerusalem's Old City is seen in the background. REUTERS/Baz Ratner
A Palestinian throws stones at Israeli soldiers during clashes in the West Bank town of Qalandia. Tensions over Jerusalem have sparked the worst riots in recent years. The Quartet for the Middle East urged Israel to stop building settlements and set a bold target for a final deal with the Palestinians by 2012 as it tried to kickstart the stalled peace process. (AFP/Marco Longari)
Palestinians chant and hold up banners as they protest Tuesday, March, 16, 2010, against Israel's rededication on Monday of a historic synagogue in the Jewish quarter of Jerusalem's Old City, during a rally in Gaza City. Writing on banner reads in Arabic: 'No to Judaization of Jerusalem', right and: 'The one who gives up his land loses his honor', left. (AP Photo/ Hatem Moussa)
Israeli soldiers and Palestinian women are seen during clashes after a demonstration at the Kalandia checkpoint between the West Bank city of Ramallah and Jerusalem, Saturday, March 13, 2010. (THE ASSOCIATED PRESS/Majdi Mohammed)
A masked Palestinian youth stands next to a burning tire as others look on, during clashes with Israeli soldiers, not seen, in the West Bank city of Hebron, Monday, Feb. 22, 2010. A crowd of Palestinian youths pelted Israeli soldiers with stones and empty bottles on Monday, drawing tear gas and stun grenades in the most serious violence to rock this volatile West Bank city in months. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Israeli left wing activists demonstrate outside the District Court in Haifa, northern Israel , Wednesday, March 10, 2010.
A Palestinian protester prepares to throw a stone as Israeli watch nearby at the West Bank checkpoint of Atara on March 15. Hundreds of Palestinians have clashed with security forces in east Jerusalem as tension boils over in the city and a senior Hamas leader calls for a new "intifada," or uprising. (AFP/Abbas Momani)
A Palestinian boy runs past a pile of burning tires during clashes with Israeli troops, not seen, in the West Bank city of Hebron, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. Hundreds of Palestinians hurled rocks at police and set tires ablaze across the holy city's volatile eastern sector, where thousands of officers, including reinforcements brought in from other locations, were in place for a fifth straight day. The violence also spilled over into the nearby West Bank. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Masked Palestinian militants from Al Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade, a militia linked to the Fatah movement, talk to journalists in Gaza City, Thursday, March 18, 2010. (THE ASSOCIATED PRESS /Adel Hana The family of Rachel Corrie, a pro-Palestinian activist who was crushed to death by an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza is suing Israel. The parents of Rachel Corrie are seeking compensation from Israel's Defense Ministry for the death of their daughter in 2003. Arguments in the civil case opened in a Haifa court on Wednesday. (AP Photo/Moti Milrod)
Palestinian residents of the heavily destroyed Ezbet Abed Rabbo area of the northern Gaza Strip refugee camp of Jabalia wave national flags as they gather to receive UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon at the camp. Ban slammed Israel's blockade of the Gaza Strip during a tour of the war-battered coastal territory on Sunday, saying it was causing "unacceptable suffering. "(AFP/Mohammed Abed)
A Palestinian militant holds a mock rocket during rally in Gaza City, 2009. Palestinian militants fired a rocket from the Gaza Strip into Israel on Monday that landed in an empty field without causing any casualties or damage (AFP/File/Said Khatib)
Palestinians carry a model of Jerusalem's Al-Aqsa mosque as they take part in a rally in the southern Gaza Strip town of Rafah. Hundreds of Palestinians have clashed with security forces in east Jerusalem as tension boils over in the city and a senior Hamas leader calls for a new "intifada," or uprising. (AFP/Said Khatib)
Israeli soldiers patrol in a street during clashes with Palestinians, not seen, in the West Bank city of Hebron, Monday, Feb. 22, 2010. A crowd of Palestinian youths pelted Israeli soldiers with stones and empty bottles on Monday, drawing tear gas and stun grenades in the most serious violence to rock this volatile West Bank city in months. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Palestinian women protest Tuesday, March, 16, 2010, against Israel's rededication on Monday of a historic synagogue in the Jewish quarter of Jerusalem's Old City, during a rally in Gaza City. (AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)
A Palestinian girl takes part in a rally, marking a symbolic declaration of independence, in the West Bank village of Beit Furiq near Nablus November 15, 2009. REUTERS/Mohamad Torokman In this Tuesday, Dec. 8, 2009 file photo, a Palestinian in a wheel chair waits inside a newly built passageway on the Palestinian side of the Erez crossing, northern Gaza Strip. A healthy man in blockaded Gaza faked cancer, hoping the deadly disease would be his ticket out of the territory that has become an open-air prison for its 1.4 million residents. His ploy failed, but several thousand others succeeded in fleeing this shabby sliver of land this year using bribes and fake medical reports, a sign of Gazans' desperation over growing poverty and misery under the strict border closure enforced by Egypt and Israel since Hamas militants overran Gaza in June 2007. (THE ASSOCIATED PRESS/Hatem Moussa, File)
Israeli forces detain Palestinian youths following clashes in the east Jerusalem neighborhood of Ras al-Amud. Police flooded into Jerusalem's Old City following clashes with Palestinians near the Al-Aqsa mosque compound and as tens of thousands of Jews attended a religious ceremony. (AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)
A Palestinian youth kicks a burning tire as others look on, during clashes with Israeli soldiers, not seen, in the West Bank city of Hebron, Monday, Feb. 22, 2010. A crowd of Palestinian youths pelted Israeli soldiers with stones and empty bottles on Monday, drawing tear gas and stun grenades in the most serious violence to rock this volatile West Bank city in months. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Palestinian Islamic Jihad supporters shout slogans while holding the Koran, Islam's holy book, during a rally to protest against the addition of two West Bank shrines to a list of Israeli national heritage sites, in the Khan Younis refugee camp, southern Gaza Strip, Friday, Feb. 26, 2010. Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad on Friday made a rare visit to the Ibrahim Mosque known also as the Tomb of the Patriarchs, a shrine holy to Muslims and Jews in the West Bank city of Hebron. Speaking to reporters after prayers Fayyad accused Israel of 'annexing' it. (AP Photo/Eyad Baba)
Palestinian stone-throwers stand behind burning planks during clashes with Israeli troops at Qalandiya checkpoint, near the West Bank city of Ramallah March 16, 2010. Palestinians mounted violent protests in a "day of rage" in Jerusalem on Tuesday and a U.S.-Israeli crisis over a Jewish settlement project deepened with the cancellation of a U.S. peace envoy's visit. REUTERS/Mohamad Torokman
A Palestinian woman looks at Israeli soldiers during clashes between Israeli troops and Palestinian stone-throwers in the East Jerusalem neighbourhood of Wadi al-Joz March 16, 2010. Palestinians mounted violent protests in a "day of rage" in Jerusalem on Tuesday and a U.S.-Israeli crisis over a Jewish settlement project deepened with the cancellation of a U.S. peace envoy's visit. REUTERS/Baz Ratner
Palestinian women from Hamas carry a banner in Arabic that reads : 'Al-Aqsa is in the eyes, we die for it,' as they march toward the United Nations House during a rally in Beirut, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)
Cindy Corrie, left, and Craig Corrie, right, the parents of Rachel Corrie, a pro-Palestinian activist who was crushed to death by an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza in 2003, sit together with their daughter Sarah at the District Court in Haifa, northern Israel, Wednesday, March 10, 2010. The family of an pro-Palestinian activist who was crushed to death by an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza is suing Israel. The parents of Rachel Corrie are seeking compensation from Israel's Defense Ministry for the death of their daughter in 2003. (AP Photo/Moti Milrod)
Palestinian youths hurl stones at Israeli troops, not seen, during clashes in the West Bank city of Hebron, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. Hundreds of Palestinians hurled rocks at police and set tires ablaze across the holy city's volatile eastern sector, where thousands of officers, including reinforcements brought in from other locations, were in place for a fifth straight day. The violence also spilled over into the nearby West Bank. (AP Photo/Nasser Shiyoukhi)
Palestinian boy scouts carry fake missiles, during a rally held at the Martyrs Square in the southern port city of Sidon, Lebanon, Friday, March 19, 2010. The rally was held to express support and solidarity for the Palestinians over the latest clashes in Jerusalem. The word in Arabic on the missiles read: 'Jerusalem.' AP Photo/Mohammed Zaatari)
Hamas leader Ismail Haniya (left) stands behind newly-freed Palestinian prisoner Fatima Yunes al-Zaq at a welcoming ceremony in Gaza City. Analysts said the release of 19 Palestinian women prisoners in exchange for a brief video clip of a captured Israeli soldier has handed a much-need victory to Hamas. (AFP/File/Mohammed Abed)
An Israeli border police officer fires tear gas towards Palestinian stone-throwers in East Jerusalem neighbourhood of Issawiya March 16, 2010. REUTERS/Darren Whiteside
Palestinians inspect the damage to a mosque that was set on fire in the West Bank village of Kfar Yasuf, south of the West Bank city of Nablus. Assailants vandalized a West Bank mosque on Friday, torching its library and spraying hate messages in Hebrew in an attack blamed on hardline Jews angered by plans to curb settlement building. (AFP/Jaafar Ashtiyeh)
Palestinians protest Tuesday, March, 16, 2010, against Israel's rededication on Monday of a historic synagogue in the Jewish quarter of Jerusalem's Old City, during a rally in Gaza City. (AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)
Palestinian stone-throwers gesture toward Israeli troops during clashes near the East Jerusalem neighbourhood of Wadi al-Joz March 16, 2010. Palestinians mounted violent protests in a "day of rage" in Jerusalem on Tuesday and a U.S.-Israeli crisis over a Jewish settlement project deepened with the cancellation of a U.S. peace envoy's visit. The Dome of the Rock, on the compound known to Muslims as al-Haram al-Sharif, and to Jews as Temple Mount, in Jerusalem's Old City is seen in the background. REUTERS/Baz Ratner Palestinian youths throw stones at Israeli soldiers during clashes in the East Jeruslaem neighbourhood of Issawiya. Hundreds of Palestinians have clashed with security forces in east Jerusalem as tension boils over in the city and a senior Hamas leader calls for a new "intifada," or uprising. (AFP/Ahmad Gharabli)
An Israeli soldier takes position during clashes with Palestinian stone-throwers at Qalandiya checkpoint, near the West Bank city of Ramallah March 16, 2010. Palestinians mounted violent protests in a "day of rage" in Jerusalem on Tuesday and a U.S.-Israeli crisis over a Jewish settlement project deepened with the cancellation of a U.S. peace envoy's visit. REUTERS/Mohamad Torokman
Masked Palestinian youths hurl stones at Israeli troops, not seen, during clashes in the West Bank city of Hebron, Tuesday, March 16, 2010. Hundreds of Palestinians hurled rocks at police and set tires ablaze across the holy city's volatile eastern sector, where thousands of officers, including reinforcements brought in from other locations, were in place for a fifth straight day. The violence also spilled over into the nearby West Bank. (AP Photo / Nasser Shiyoukhi)
A Palestinian youth throws a stone at Israeli troops during clashes in the West Bank village of Iraq Burin, south of Nablus on March 20. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton urged Israel to make "difficult but necessary choices" for Middle East peace but promised her "rock solid" support for its security. (AFP/File/Jaafar Ashtiyeh)
Palestinian protesters carry a wounded comrade during confrontations between Israeli troops and stone-throwers, mostly Palestinian students, at the West Bank checkpoint of Atara, on March 15. Israeli troops wounded 10 Palestinians as they opened fired on dozens of students hurling stones at soldiers to protest Israeli actions in annexed Arab east Jerusalem, Palestinian medics and witnesses said. (AFP/Abbas Momani)
Palestinian student Berlanty Azzam speaks to the press on the Gaza Strip side of Erez crossing terminal with Israel following a court hearing with her lawyer and Israeli authorities in November 2009. Israel's top court on Wednesday upheld a decision under which Azzam was deported from Bethlehem to Gaza just two months before she was due to complete her bachelor's degree. (AFP/File/Mohammed Abed)
IRAN
Two pro-reform Iranian women attend the funeral ceremony of Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri, the spiritual father of Iran's reform movement, as the wear green headbands, the symbolic color of Iranian opposition, in the holy city of Qom 78 miles (125 kilometers) south of the capital Tehran, Iran, Monday, Dec. 21, 2009. Montazeri, who died Sunday at the age of 87, was a key figure in the 1979 Islamic Revolution who later accused his fellow clerical leaders of imposing dictatorship in the name of Islam. (AP Photo)
Men on a tree watch the casket of the Iranian Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri, the spiritual father of Iran's reform movement, at left, during his funeral ceremony, in the city of Qom 78 miles (125 kilometers) south of the capital Tehran, Iran, Monday, Dec. 21, 2009. Montazeri, who died Sunday at the age of 87, was a key figure in the 1979 Islamic Revolution who later accused his fellow clerical leaders of imposing dictatorship in the name of Islam. (AP Photo)
File photo of Iranian twins Ladan (L) and Laleh Bijani giving a press conference at Raffles Hospital in Singapore. They died from severe blood loss after 52 hours of surgery. (AFP/File/Ernest Goh)
A GOOD MODEL FOR MUSLIMA:
MAURITANIA'S FOREIGN MINISTER IN HIJAB(ED NOTE: While the Mauritania's female foreign minister may herself not be aware, she has admiration from millions of Muslims worldwide. She is truly a 21st century MUSLIMA ROLE MODEL. She brings to the global ummah two much needed qualities - first is maintaining her Islamic identity while at the same time, having a leadership role. Unfortunately, in the Muslim world, we see that the Muslim sisters who are strictly maintaining their Islamic identity are usually NOT in top leadership positions, while those Muslims who have abandoned Islam OR do not practice Islam generally tend to be in a comparatively greater percentage in number VISIBLE and at the top leadership positions or in the process of climbing up the ladder in their leadership career. SELDOM DO WE SEE A COMBINATION OF BOTH - TOP CAREER AS WELL AS PRACTICING ISLAM IN DRESS AND IN OTHER WAYS.
For example, among the Arab countries, the wives of most Arab leaders are totally absent on the public relations sphere on one extreme, while on the other extreme, Queen Rania gives a hoot about Holy Quranic recommendation of Islamic dress and compared to other wives of Arab leaders is extremely active in public relations and in social life. The global ummah would be proud to have a Muslima who while maintaining her Islamic identity is equally career oriented, active leader in national, civic and political sphere.
The Mauritanian Foreign Minister has struck the right balance and is not on either of above two extremes).
Mauritanian Foreign Minister Naha Bent hamdi Weld Mocnas attends the foreign ministers' meeting from the Sahara desert states in Algiers March 16, 2010. Algeria is to host a meeting of foreign ministers from Sahara desert states this week to try to hammer out a joint plan of action for tackling the growing threat from al Qaeda insurgents, officials said. REUTERS/Louafi Larbi
IS QUEEN RANIA REPRESENTING OR MISREPRESENTING THE ARAB COUNTRY OF JORDAN
Mauritanian Foreign Minister Naha Bent hamdi Weld Mocnas arrives during the foreign ministers' meeting from the Sahara desert states in Algiers March 16, 2010. Algeria is to host a meeting of foreign ministers from Sahara desert states this week to try to hammer out a joint plan of action for tackling the growing threat from al Qaeda insurgents, officials said. Reuters
CONGRATULATIONS TO YET ANOTHER GREAT MUSLIMA - WIFE OF THE TURKISH PRIME MINISTER WHO HAS THE COURAGE TO MAINTAIN HER ISLAMIC IDENTITY DESPITE THE HISTORIC SECULAR APPROACH FOLLOWED IN TURKEY.
UNITED STATES HEALTH CARE REFORM:
Front pages of US leading newspapers in the wake of health care reform legislation championed by President Barack Obama. (AFP/OFF)
A doctor in Miami watches US President Barack Obama sign into law historic, sweeping reforms that lay out health care coverage for almost every American and realize the dreams of generations of past US leaders. (AFP/Getty Images/Joe Raedle)
Charts showing the number of Americans who do and do not have health coverage. The US House of Representatives sent a historic health care overhaul to President Barack Obama, bringing the United States closer than ever before to guaranteed coverage for all Americans. (AFP/Graphic)
Graphic showing how Democrats and Republicans voted in the US House of Representatives. (AFP/Graphics/null)
After a year of debate, historic health reform finally means health insurance for nearly all Americans. (AFPTV)
INDIA
GUJARAT THUG IN CHIEF:
SHOULD BE CHARGED FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY
Narendra Modi, Chief Minister of the western Indian state of Gujarat, speaks in New Delhi on January 9. Modi, has been called by investigators to answer questions about riots that killed around 2,000 Muslims. (AFP/File Raveendran)
Muslim youth shout slogans during a rally in Calcutta against the killing of Muslims in Gujarat state violence in 2002. A team probing the anti-Muslim riots in Gujarat has summoned the state's Hindu nationalist chief minister for questioning, an investigator said Thursday. (AFP/File/Deshakalyan Chowdhury)
Indian Muslims from the Popular Front of India look on during a rally to demand for affirmative action for Muslims in government jobs and in education, in New Delhi, India, Monday, March 15, 2010. (AP Photo/Mustafa Quraishi)
Indian Muslims from the Popular Front of India shout slogans to demand for affirmative action for Muslims in government jobs and in education, in New Delhi, India, Monday, March 15, 2010. (AP Photo/Mustafa Quraishi)
(Hindu extremists in action) AFGHANISTAN
Afghan women visit the Hazrat-i Ali shrine in Mazar-i-Sharif, the centre of Afghan New Year's or Nowruz celebrations. Afghans have travelled from across their war-ravaged country to the northern city of Mazar-I-Sharif united behind one wish: that the advent of the new year will bring them peace. (AFP/Shah Marai)
March 15,2010: An Afghan woman walks along with donkey carrying jerry cans filled with water in Kabul, Afghanistan, Monday, March 22, 2010. Clean Water for a Healthy World is the theme for World Water Day 2010 which is celebrated Monday. (AP Photo/Rafiq Maqbool)
Friends and relatives of the victims of blast on Saturday offer prayers during a condolence gathering in Kandahar north of Kabul, Afghanistan, Monday, March 15, 2010. Kandahar provincial Gov. Tooryalai Wesa told reporters that he had asked the central government in Kabul for more Afghan troops to protect the city in the run-up to the expected offensive in the province, which is the spiritual birthplace of the Taliban. (AP Photo/Allauddin Khan) MISGUIDED MUSLIMS:
LET'S PRAY TO ALLAH TO GUIDE THEM IN THE RIGHT PATH(Ed Note: It is really pathetic to see below five losers who were misguided by their mentors and inadvertently deviated away from peaceful religion of Islam.)
This undated handout picture released by Pakistan police shows mugshot photos of US nationals arrested in Sargodha. A Pakistani court has ordered that five American men arrested for trying to link up with Islamist militants cannot be deported without the court's permission, officials said. (AFP/HO/File) LA ROSE: A MUSLIMA WHO HAS CHALLENGED THE STEREOTYPE OF AN ISLAMIC TERRORIST(Ed Note: If a native from Europe has immigrated to the United States and changed her nationality by becoming a naturalized US citizen, and if she deeply associates with and becomes a follower of a group of US Citizens who are from Ku Klux Klan OR White Order of Thule, Creativity Movement, Hammerskin Nation, Aryan Nation et.c then you CANNOT expect her to have a PROPER AND REASONABLE understanding of the Constitutional guarantees of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of expression et.c. Further her understanding of the below would be significantly different because the white supremacists would disagree with the (below) "equality" concept since they believe that they are a SUPERIOR RACE.
(A part of) the United States Declaration of Independence in their statement adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776:
"WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT, THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, THAT THEY ARE ENDOWED BY THEIR CREATOR WITH CERTAIN UNALIENABLE RIGHTS, THAT AMONG THESE ARE LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS".
Some of the gems that Islam brought to the world more than 1400 years ago were the emphasis on MANKIND BEING ONE COMMUNITY, EQUALITY, UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD regardless of race, color, nationality, culture et.c. and PEACE.
However the deviated extremist mentors of La Rose not only misguided her but also used her in an attempt to achieve their anti-Islamic and criminal goal of planning to murder.
It is really unfortunate, that La Rose got introduced and become a follower of a DEVIATED group that has violated Islamic values of peace and in essence started off her journey to Islam in the wrong foot. Obviously associating with a deviated group has a cost and for sister La Rose, the cost would be possible incarceration with a record of being a felon for rest of her life).
This undated image courtesy of WPVI-TV in Philadelpha, Pennsylvania shows terror suspect Colleen LaRose. The American woman operating online under the name "JihadJane" has been indicted for recruiting jihadist fighters in the United States, Europe and Asia in a bid to carry out terror plots. (AFP/WPVI TV)
LAROSE WAS ACCUSED OF MOVING TO EUROPE TO TRY TO KILL (SWEDE CARTOONIST LARS VILKS) WHO IS CURRENTLY IN STOCKHOLM - This image provided by the SITE Intelligence Group shows Colleen LaRose, an American womanfrom Pennsylvania indicted Tuesday March 9, 2010 and accused of using the Internetto recruit jihadist fighters and help terrorists overseas. The indictment accusesLaRose of moving to Europe to try to kill Swedish cartoonist Lars Vilks who is in Stockholm. (AP Photo/SITE Intelligence Group) This undated image courtesy of Fox News shows a photo from a website authorities say was maintained by terror suspect Colleen LaRose. The American woman operating online under the name "JihadJane" has been indicted for recruiting jihadist fighters in the United States, Europe and Asia in a bid to carry out terror plots. (AFP/FOX NEWS)
This image provided by the SITE Intelligence Group shows Colleen LaRose. (THE ASSOCIATED PRESS/SITE Intelligence Group) GREECE
(ED NOTE: TO ALL RIGHT WING EXTREMISTS: Please don't harbor hate towards (below) innocent women because of their head covering. To your relief, we want to confirm that they are NOT MUSLIMS. It is just their native Greek Costume. A piece of cloth over the head should not make a difference anyway.)
Physical education trainee teachers, dressed in traditional Greek costume, chat after taking part at an independence day students' parade in central Athens on Wednesday, March 24, 2010. The March 25 public holiday will be marked Thursday with a military parade, but the annual event will be scaled back and not include armored units, as part of sweeping government cuts to cope with the country's financial crisis. (AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis)
Physical education trainee teachers, dressed in traditional Greek costume, gather after taking part at an independence day students' parade in central Athens on Wednesday, March 24, 2010. The March 25 public holiday will be marked Thursday with a military parade, but the annual event will be scaled back and not include armored units, as part of sweeping government cuts to cope with the country's financial crisis. (AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis)
DRONES- PERCEIVED AS SHAITAN BY THE TALIBAN
Fact file on the Predator drone used by the US against suspected terrorists in Afghanistan and Pakistan. A US drone attack destroyed a mountain hideout in northwest Pakistan near the Afghan border on Tuesday, killing 10 militants including Al-Qaeda-linked suspects, officials said. (AFP)
DARFUR-WHERE MUSLIMS ARE KILLING MUSLIMS
Graphic created in 2007 showing the extent of damaged and destroyed villages in Darfur. International donors at a conference in Cairo on Sunday pledged 850 million dollars for the reconstruction of war-ravaged Darfur, way short of the two billion dollars organisers had been expecting. (AFP/Graphic)
Sudanese children, displaced by the Darfur conflict, attend a makeshift school in the southern Darfur town of Nyala. International donors will gather in Egypt on March 21 with a two-billion-dollar target for the reconstruction of Darfur. (AFP/File/Jose Cendon)
WILL THE NIGERIANS PROMISE THEMSELVES: "NEVER AGAIN" ?
A map of Nigeria locating ethnic violence in Dogo Nahawa, just south of Jos. Pope Benedict XVI has denounced the "atrocious" bloodshed in Nigeria after a massacre of Christian villagers, as police said 49 people would be charged over the killings. (AFP/Graphic)
(ED NOTE: Above are the suspects in the killings of Nigerian Christians) Villagers look at bodies of victims of religious attacks lying in a mass grave in the Dogo Nahawa village, about 15 km (9 miles) to the capital city of Jos in central Nigeria, March 8, 2010. REUTERS/Akintunde Akinleye
A woman cries during a funeral of victims killed in religious attacks in the Dogo Nahawa village, about 15 km (9 miles) to the capital city of Jos in central Nigeria, March 8, 2010. Soldiers patrolled the central Nigerian city of Jos on Monday and aid workers tried to assess the death toll after attacks on outlying communities in which several hundred people were feared to have been killed. REUTERS/Akintunde Akinleye
A mother comforts her crying child in Dogo Nahwa, Nigeria, Monday, March 8, 2010. More than 200 people, most of them Christians, were slaughtered on Sunday in central Nigeria, according to residents, aid groups and journalists. The local government gave a figure more than twice that amount, but offered no casualty list or other information to substantiate it. (AP Photos/Jon Gambrell)
Suspects arrested by the police and military personnel for killing and burning women and children at Dogo Nahawa village in Jos south, plateau state, wait at Jos police headquaters on March 10. Police in Nigeria's central city of Jos are planning for a speedy trial of 207 suspects arrested over recent large scale slaughter of Christian villagers, a spokesman said.(AFP/File/Pius Utomi Ekpei)
SYRIAN PRESIDENT MEETS WITH SAUDI OFFICIAL
Syria's President Bashar al-Assad (L) meets Saudi Arabia's Foreign Minister Prince Saud al-Faisal in Damascus March 22, 2010. REUTERS/Sana
BANGLADESH
Bangladeshi riot policemen stand guard as burqa-clad women walk past them in Dhaka. Bangladesh's largest state-run hospital has banned staff from wearing full-face burqas after an increase in thefts of mobile phones and wallets from wards, a hospital chief said Monday. (AFP/File/Farjana K. Godhuly)
PAKISTAN: SWAT VALLEY
Cadets in traditional dress perform while they dance during a passing-out parade of Special Police Force in Swat valley region located in Pakistan's restive North West Frontier Province March 20, 2010. Authorities say security has improved since a military offensive nearly a year ago cleared out militants from Swat. But police remain vulnerable to suicide attacks and residents fear the Taliban will return if the military leaves. Picture taken on March 20, 2010. REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro
ELECTIONS IN IRAQ
A combination picture shows the key candidates for Iraq's parliamentary election. From L-R: (top row) Adnan al-Oachachi of the secular Iraqiya bloc, former prime minister Iyad Allawi, former prime minister Ibrahim Jaafari, member of parliament Humam Hamoudi, tribal leader Sheikh Ahmed Abu Risha, Second Vice President Tareq al-Hashimi, Shi'ite politician Ahmed Chalabi, (middle row) Interior Minister Jawad al-Bolani, member of parliament Jalal al-Deen al-Saghir, member of parliament Mowaffaq al-Rubaie, Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, Oil Minister Hussain al-Shahristani, President Jalal Talabani, member of parliament Hadi al-Amiri, (bottom row) member of parliament Mithal al-Alusi, government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh, Finance Minister Bayan Jabor, parliament speaker Ayad al-Samarrai, leader of the Supreme Islamic Iraqi Council Ammar al-Hakim, Kurdish leader Masoud Barazani, and First Vice President Adel Abdul Mahdi. REUTERS/Staff
A resident votes at a polling station in Falluja, 50 km (31 miles) west of Baghdad, March 7, 2010. Iraqis began voting on Sunday in a parliamentary election that Sunni Islamist insurgents have vowed to derail in an effort to plunge the war-shattered country back into sectarian bloodshed as U.S. troops leave. REUTERS/Mohanned Faisal
An Iraqi policeman assists a U.S. soldier with local clothing as Iraqi riot police square off with Americans acting as demonstrators during a training exercise in Mosul, north of Baghdad, Iraq, Wednesday, March 3, 2010. The policemen will be on hand as Iraqis head to the polls for the March 7 national election. (AP Photo/Maya Alleruzzo)
U.S. military police, foreground, act as demonstrators as Iraqi riot police conduct a training exercise in Mosul, north of Baghdad, Iraq, Wednesday, March 3, 2010. The policemen will be on hand as Iraqis head to the polls for the March 7 national election. (AP Photo/Maya Alleruzzo)
Sisters of Fayha Kadim, 23, and her son Muntadhar Waleed, 3, who were both killed in blasts in northeastern Baghdad Sunday, grieve at their funeral in Najaf, Iraq, Monday, March 8, 2010. The election day's death toll was 36, with various incidents of rockets and mortars, hand grenades and bombs all being used to target polling stations and the people voting.(AP Photo/Alaa al-Marjani)
Relatives mourn during a funeral procession for Iraqi municipal officials in Baghdad, Iraq, Monday, March 22, 2010. Iraqi police and hospital officials say gunmen riding a motorcycle shot dead two municipal officials in Baghdad. (AP Photo/Hadi Mizban)
Women mourn their relative, Iraqi policeman Mohammed Flayiey during his funeral in Baghdad, Iraq, Wednesday, March 10, 2010. The officer was killed Tuesday night when gunmen approached a police checkpoint and opened fire, police said. (AP Photo/Hadi Mizban)
A resident holds a picture of his son at a cemetery for Kurdish poison gas victims in the town of Halabja near Sulaimaniya, 260 km (160 miles) northeast of Baghdad March 16, 2010. Officials and residents in the Kurdistan region commemorate the anniversary of 1988 poison gas attack that killed thousands of people during Saddam Hussein era. REUTERS/Jamal Penjweny
MUSLIMS IN CHINA
CHINESE UIGHUR MUSLIM CHIEF
Two ethnic Uighur women pass Chinese paramilitary policemen standing guard in the city of Urumqi in China's Xinjiang region. The United States on Thursday accused China and Iran of worsening human rights abuses as it raised the alarm about growing anti-Semitism worldwide and discrimination of Muslims in Europe. (AFP/File/Peter Parks)
YEMENI PROTEST AGAINST MARRIAGE BAN
Yemeni women hold a banner reading in Arabic "Don't bargain on women's rights" during a demonstration against a proposed child marriage ban outside the parliament in Sanaa. Thousands of Yemeni women, their faces covered in religious veils, demonstrated to oppose proposed legislation banning the marriage of girls under 17. (AFP)
Yemeni women hold up the Quran and Arabic placard reading 'yes to the legal rights of the Muslim woman' as they take part in a protest outside the parliament in San'a, Sunday, March 21, 2010. Some of Yemen's most influential Islamic leaders, including one the U.S. says mentored Osama bin Laden, have declared supporters of a ban on child brides to be apostates. The religious decree, issued Sunday, deeply imperils efforts to salvage legislation that would make it illegal for those under the age of 17 to marry. (THE ASSOCIATED PRESS)
A Yemeni woman hold a picture of a child bride during a rally near the parliament in Sanaa. Hundreds of women rallied outside Yemen's parliament in support of a law setting a minimum age for marriage in the country, two days after a larger protest opposing the law. (AFP/Mohamed Huwais)
Thousands of women protested outside Yemen's parliament on Sunday against plans to ban marriage for girls under 17. The proposed changes first came up against opposition last summer by Muslim clerics who say they go against Islamic sharia law. (AFPTV) SYRIAN OPPRESSION
Syrian prisoners stage a protest in Adra. Western countries must press Syria on its continued repression of dissidents as part of their efforts to draw Damascus out of political isolation, Human Rights Watch (HRW) said. (AFP/File/Louai Beshara)
GLOBAL MAP INDICATING ACCESS TO SAFE DRINKING WATER World map showing the percentage of people in individual countries with access to safe drinking water. The United Nations children's agency UNICEF noted that more than 155 million people, or 39 percent of the population in West and Central Africa, do not have access to potable water, with only eight of 24 countries in the region on track to meet key poverty-reduction targets by 2015. (AFP/Graphic)
ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE:It is time to relax and de-stress
(Thanks to Dr. Lewis for forwarding below e-mails)
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
BOOK: DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS
These (below quotes) are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
(1) ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.(2) ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: YesATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?(3) ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?WITNESS: We both do.ATTORNEY: Voodoo?WITNESS: We do.ATTORNEY: You do?WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.(4) ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?(5) ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.(6) ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?(7) ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid(8) ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?(9) ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.(10) ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.(11) ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.(12) ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?(13) And the best for last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
BEWARE OF EMOTIONAL SHOCKS, CONSEQUENCES COULD BE DISASTROUS
To my darling husband:
Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.Your loving wife.XXXPS: YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLED
THE END