VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH
Volume 41, August 18, 2008
St. Louis, Missouri
Editors: Mohamed and Rashida Ziauddin
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful
Volume 41, August 18, 2008
St. Louis, Missouri
Editors: Mohamed and Rashida Ziauddin
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful
1) Breaking old barriers: Developing new partnership between Muslims and Feminists
2) Snapshots on current updates of Global Ummah covering the countries of Turkey, France, Egypt, Malaysia, United States, Indonesia (Prostitutes touting for business right outside the Mosque), New Zealand, Bahrain and Middle East.
3) The rise of arranged marriages in the United States
4) Afghan Women Jailed for Being Victims of Rape.
5) Organizations within the US are encouraged to apply for grants administered by the UNITED STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT (USAID) to assist our Ummah in Kosovo, Iraq and Bangladesh.
3) The rise of arranged marriages in the United States
4) Afghan Women Jailed for Being Victims of Rape.
5) Organizations within the US are encouraged to apply for grants administered by the UNITED STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT (USAID) to assist our Ummah in Kosovo, Iraq and Bangladesh.
6) Oh, our Ummah, where are you ? Extreme Social Tragedy in Iraq- 50,000 Iraqis turn to prostitution for survival and to support their families. "I met three sister-in-laws recently who were living together and all prostituting themselves,” Sister Marie-Claude said. “They would go out on alternate nights — each woman took her turn —and then divide the money to feed all the children.” Girls as young as ten forced into sex for money. In many cases the head of the Muslim family brings the client to their own home (to receive sexual services) from the daughter for money and in other cases families selling their daughters for survival.
7) MuslimCalender.com
8) FILM: Jihad of Love
9) Fading of a unique Gender-Bender Social Custom in a European Muslim Country - Albania
10) Congratulations - To a special couple who were recently married and continue to be the readers of our very own VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH. Two Muslims sisters (US Citizens) looking for a good practicing Muslim and soulmate.
7) MuslimCalender.com
8) FILM: Jihad of Love
9) Fading of a unique Gender-Bender Social Custom in a European Muslim Country - Albania
10) Congratulations - To a special couple who were recently married and continue to be the readers of our very own VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH. Two Muslims sisters (US Citizens) looking for a good practicing Muslim and soulmate.
____________________________________________________________
1) Breaking old barriers: Developing new partnership between Muslims and Feminists
Muslims extending the hands of co-operation to work as a team with the liberal feminists:
As with many other groups, the feminists themselves are divided into different groups including the (extremists)radical, moderate and liberal feminists. When we refer to the feminists in this issue, we are talking about the liberal and moderate feminists. The extremists in all groups as usual, are close minded, believe they are right and everybody else is wrong and are insistent on forcing their opinions and values on others.
As with many other groups, the feminists themselves are divided into different groups including the (extremists)radical, moderate and liberal feminists. When we refer to the feminists in this issue, we are talking about the liberal and moderate feminists. The extremists in all groups as usual, are close minded, believe they are right and everybody else is wrong and are insistent on forcing their opinions and values on others.
We call upon the feminists to partner with us and work towards the betterment of the female Muslims. The feminists are in a way implementing the basic spirit of the Holy Quran in terms of working to avoid the "female" being seen as a sex object. Any psychologist will tell you the importance of visual perception and its connection to the subsequent feelings and behavior. By emphasizing the covering and modesty of the female, the Holy Quran essentially helps the male to perceive and focus on the female's other non-sexual, positive attributes. The feminists have also been emphasizing that the women should not be seen as mere sex objects and that they have lot of potential to offer for the betterment of community in so many other varied ways. Needless to say both the feminists and Muslims oppose the sexual exploitation of the females. We are seeing enough of it from the advertisements, media and pop culture.
Carolyn Waldron points out in an article published by Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR), "Media implicitly tell us how to rank the importance of the public issues according to the amount of press coverage devoted to an issue." [2] In other words, lack of appropriate media coverage of an issue leads to the implication that the topic is not important. And obviously, if a story is not reported, public awareness is significantly lessened.
When you pick up a magazine or newspaper, as a MUSLIM to what extent are you able to connect with it ? If a Muslim is attacked or discriminated, have you ever seen it in the major headlines. However if a (misguided) Muslim does a negative act, when have you NOT seen it in the headlines ? Conversely when a Muslim does a GOOD DEED, have you ever seen it in the headlines ?
As Carolyn Waldron pointed out above, we can use her concept to clearly understand the process of press coverage the media gives in terms of issues involving Muslims. With a consistent barrage of negative coverage about Muslims as compared to deliberately ignoring the positive coverage of Muslims, ONE SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISED WHY THE AVERAGE NON-MUSLIMS ARE SO IGNORANT OF ISLAM. What little they know of Islam is more of negativity than truth. The Muslims themselves have partly contributed to above problem by not literally coming out of their shells to actively involve and reach out to others in their local community.
The common point between Muslims and feminists is that they both don't want the female to be perceived solely as a sex object. Despite all efforts this problem still persists in so many ways. For example you see pictures of partially nude women associated with alcohol drinks, cars, and many other ads including the one shown below in a sports magazine. What is the connection between the partially nude woman and the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED.
According to Naomi Wolf:
"Pinups are used to directly undermine women… They are intended to reinstate the inequalities that women's entry into the workplace took away." ( Wolf, Naomi. "The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women. William Morrow and Company, Inc. New York, 1991)
"Most disturbing is the disproportionate coverage of sensationalized violence. Invariably, rape stories get far more coverage than domestic violence stories. In all likelihood, this is because rape stories usually focus on one individual woman. If she is attractive, and particularly if she is white, she is a very marketable victim".
For example:
(1) Shae Marks who is a nude model in Playboy stated: "My experience with Playboy opened a world of possibilities". (Shae Marks."My Story")
(2) Josie Troyat who is a nude model in "Penthouse" Pet of the Month- stated: "Liberation for women is what I am doing now – posing like this for Penthouse. It would have never been possible in my mother's youth. She would have been condemned, instead of admired, for showing off all her beauty." (Paglia, Camille. Sex, Art, and American Culture. Vintage Books. New York, 1992. p vii.)
(3) Bebe Buell, who was a nude model in Playboy stated: "Posing for Playboy wasn't as much of a sexual experience for me as it was a liberating one. If I were to pose again, it would be for the same reasons ..... to make a statement and to break down some doors."
When you pick up a magazine or newspaper, as a MUSLIM to what extent are you able to connect with it ? If a Muslim is attacked or discriminated, have you ever seen it in the major headlines. However if a (misguided) Muslim does a negative act, when have you NOT seen it in the headlines ? Conversely when a Muslim does a GOOD DEED, have you ever seen it in the headlines ?
As Carolyn Waldron pointed out above, we can use her concept to clearly understand the process of press coverage the media gives in terms of issues involving Muslims. With a consistent barrage of negative coverage about Muslims as compared to deliberately ignoring the positive coverage of Muslims, ONE SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISED WHY THE AVERAGE NON-MUSLIMS ARE SO IGNORANT OF ISLAM. What little they know of Islam is more of negativity than truth. The Muslims themselves have partly contributed to above problem by not literally coming out of their shells to actively involve and reach out to others in their local community.
The common point between Muslims and feminists is that they both don't want the female to be perceived solely as a sex object. Despite all efforts this problem still persists in so many ways. For example you see pictures of partially nude women associated with alcohol drinks, cars, and many other ads including the one shown below in a sports magazine. What is the connection between the partially nude woman and the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED.
"Pinups are used to directly undermine women… They are intended to reinstate the inequalities that women's entry into the workplace took away." ( Wolf, Naomi. "The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women. William Morrow and Company, Inc. New York, 1991)
"Most disturbing is the disproportionate coverage of sensationalized violence. Invariably, rape stories get far more coverage than domestic violence stories. In all likelihood, this is because rape stories usually focus on one individual woman. If she is attractive, and particularly if she is white, she is a very marketable victim".
WE CONDEMN BELOW PICTURE ADVERTISEMENT WHICH SENDS A WRONG MESSAGE IN A SUBTLE WAY
(IN TERMS OF OBTAINING MONEY THROUGH SELLING ONE'S BODY)
It is stated in the Holy Quran that "There is no Compulsion in Religion". The feminists also would not want men to force their values on women. How best can both the Muslims and feminists deal with situations where the individual female is exhibiting herself voluntarily without force or compulsion.(IN TERMS OF OBTAINING MONEY THROUGH SELLING ONE'S BODY)
For example:
(1) Shae Marks who is a nude model in Playboy stated: "My experience with Playboy opened a world of possibilities". (Shae Marks."My Story")
(2) Josie Troyat who is a nude model in "Penthouse" Pet of the Month- stated: "Liberation for women is what I am doing now – posing like this for Penthouse. It would have never been possible in my mother's youth. She would have been condemned, instead of admired, for showing off all her beauty." (Paglia, Camille. Sex, Art, and American Culture. Vintage Books. New York, 1992. p vii.)
(3) Bebe Buell, who was a nude model in Playboy stated: "Posing for Playboy wasn't as much of a sexual experience for me as it was a liberating one. If I were to pose again, it would be for the same reasons ..... to make a statement and to break down some doors."
The second common point between feminists and Muslims is about fighting injustice. This includes the injustice towards women and the feminists are already implementing Allah's commands in this matter. As indicated in the previous issues there is lot of cultural values intertwined with Islamic values and masquerading as Islamic value. Here again, there is common ground where the Ummah and the feminists can work together to root out the cultural values that cause injustice towards women. WE CALL UPON THE FEMINISTS TO BE OUR SISTERS TO WORK UNITEDLY AGAINST FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION, HONOR KILLINGS, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DOWRY ET.C.
SELECTED VERSES FROM HOLY QURAN:
God treats men and women as spiritual equals., Quran 3:195 tells us :
"Their Lord responded to them: "I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you MALE OR FEMALE, YOU ARE EQUAL TO ONE ANOTHER........."
The spiritual equality between men and women is reiterated in 4:124, as follows:
"As for those who lead a righteous life, MALE OR FEMALE. while believing, they enter Paradise; without the slightest injustice"
And again in 16:97:
" Anyone who works righteousness, MALE OR FEMALE, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense for their righteous works."
and yet again in 40:40,
[40:40] Whoever commits a sin is requited for just that, and whoever works righteousness - MALE OR FEMALE - while believing, these will enter Paradise wherein they receive provisions without any limits.
SELECTED VERSES FROM HOLY QURAN:
God treats men and women as spiritual equals., Quran 3:195 tells us :
"Their Lord responded to them: "I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you MALE OR FEMALE, YOU ARE EQUAL TO ONE ANOTHER........."
The spiritual equality between men and women is reiterated in 4:124, as follows:
"As for those who lead a righteous life, MALE OR FEMALE. while believing, they enter Paradise; without the slightest injustice"
And again in 16:97:
" Anyone who works righteousness, MALE OR FEMALE, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense for their righteous works."
and yet again in 40:40,
[40:40] Whoever commits a sin is requited for just that, and whoever works righteousness - MALE OR FEMALE - while believing, these will enter Paradise wherein they receive provisions without any limits.
2) Snapshots on updates of Global Ummah covering the countries of Turkey, France, Egypt, Malaysia, United States, Indonesia, New Zealand, Bahrain and Middle East.
alternet.org
UNITED STATES:
UNITED STATES:
The Obama Muslim Myth: Posted by Brave New Films, American News Project on August 16, 2008 A new national study by the Pew Research Center shows that 12 percent of the country still believes Sen. Barack Obama is a Muslim. ANP looks into how this myth has been perpetuated in the media.
Over a thousand US women are killed each year by a current or former intimate partner 10 August 2008
a) Two million women each year are injured.
b) A sexual assault against a woman occurs every two minutes.
c) In the United States a woman’s risk of being murdered by an intimate partner is highest after leaving an abusive relationship. Domestic violence is a leading cause of death for women ages 15-44, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
TURKEY:
Turkey's Constitutional Court Ruling Upholds Headscarf Ban
(WHILE THE UMMAH IS SILENT, HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH SPEAKS OUT):
19 June 2008
The decision by Turkey’s Constitutional Court to cancel constitutional amendments that would have opened the way for women to wear a headscarf in universities is a blow to freedom of religion and other fundamental rights, Human Rights Watch said today. The court ruled on June 5 that the Turkish parliament had violated the constitutionally enshrined.....
FRANCE:
FRANCE:
French “virginity lie” couple raps ruling appeal
10 June 2008
Lawyers for a Muslim couple whose marriage was annulled over her lie about being a virgin rapped the French government for deciding to appeal the ruling widely denounced as an insult to women’s equality. Both said their clients accepted the ruling and criticized the emotional debate that has raged in France since it was reported last ....
Lawyers for a Muslim couple whose marriage was annulled over her lie about being a virgin rapped the French government for deciding to appeal the ruling widely denounced as an insult to women’s equality. Both said their clients accepted the ruling and criticized the emotional debate that has raged in France since it was reported last ....
EGYPT:
Women’s Mosque Row Erupts in Egypt
5 June 2008
Theologians and secularists in Egypt are up in arms over a request from women to have their own mosques. The clergy was quick to dismiss the demand as a fad but secularists warned against turning down the proposal, saying it would strengthen the hand of religious leaders in matters of the state.
Marriage Maker’s Gender Ruffles Egyptians:
Egypt has appointed its first female official to certify marriages and divorces. The move has been met by public debate and opposition from some Muslim clerics who say women shouldn’t serve in the role. Amal Soliman did not realize how large a controversy would erupt here when she sought to become Egypt’s first female “maazun,” or ......
MALAYSIA: Accept polygamy and be patient with your husband says Malaysian MP
(ED NOTE: Oops, no advice to husbands to ensure treating all wives on an equal par and is that possible?)
29 May 2008
A Malaysian MP told parliament that there would be fewer marital problems and a lower divorce rate if Muslim women were taught to accept polygamy, news reports said today. Ibrahim Ali, an independent parliamentarian, proposed moves to address the issue in response to complaints that women were always blamed for marital issues.
SAUDI ARABIA:
Move against domestic violence in Saudi Arabia
27 July 2008
There is a move to launch a joint battle against domestic abuse in Saudi Arabia. Representatives of various organisations met to discuss ways of cooperation to improve the services provided to victims of domestic violence. The meeting was attended by the representatives of Family Protection Organisation (FPO), which runs Jeddah’s first and only women’s shelter, the.....
Talk but little action on domestic violence in New Zealand
27 July 2008
The New Zealand Government has delivered on fewer than half its promises to tackle family violence, independent research has revealed. A thesis, written by Wellington strategy consultant Ruth Herbert which received an A+ grading from Victoria University, examined the three family violence strategies released by the government since 2002.
INDONESIA: (The most populous Muslim country in the world)
Poverty at root of commercial sex work in Indonesia 7 August 2008 In a district of the north eastern part of West Java, commercial sex workers are touting for business right outside the mosque. Bandungwangi, a local NGO working against trafficking, says half the women and children it rescues from prostitution in Jakarta come from this district. “The root of the problem is poverty.......
BAHRAIN:
SMS divorces spur call for family law in Bahrain
(ED NOTE: We strongly condemn Muslim men divorcing their wives by sending text messages)
16 August 2008
Bahrain could soon follow a growing regional trend of Muslim men divorcing their wives by text message, if a family law is not implemented soon, women’s rights groups warned last month. They say that it is wrong that men could legally divorce their wives in such a spontaneous and inhumane way.
MIDDLE EAST:
MIDDLE EAST:
Number of abortions rising in Middle East say experts
10 July 2008
10 July 2008
Changing social values and economic realities, along with demographic shifts, are among the reasons, observers in the Arab world say.
3) The rise of arranged marriages in the United States
By Amy Williams and Amy DePaul, AlterNet. August 9, 2008.
THE JEWISH COMMUNITY:
The sound of laughter can be heard from outside a Los Angeles home as seven matchmakers sit around the dining room table taking notes, shuffling through papers and pitching match ideas over water and fruit salad. Attractive young single women donning ankle-length skirts and long-sleeved shirts sit in the living room, waiting for their turn to field questions from women who want to ask about their personal histories, hopes for the future and tastes in men. The young singles flew in from Brooklyn and Montreal for the opportunity to interview with the Shadchans (matchmakers) who have connections with hundreds of eligible single men.
The sound of laughter can be heard from outside a Los Angeles home as seven matchmakers sit around the dining room table taking notes, shuffling through papers and pitching match ideas over water and fruit salad. Attractive young single women donning ankle-length skirts and long-sleeved shirts sit in the living room, waiting for their turn to field questions from women who want to ask about their personal histories, hopes for the future and tastes in men. The young singles flew in from Brooklyn and Montreal for the opportunity to interview with the Shadchans (matchmakers) who have connections with hundreds of eligible single men.
It's just another Tuesday morning for L'Chaim, a group of Los Angeles area matchmakers, who find spouses for singles in the Jewish Orthodox community. They network with rabbis, host singles events and attend a hand-full of weddings each week -- all for the purpose of matching. "We get profiles and we network with each other," says Rochelle Frankel, a Shadchan who works with L'Chaim. "I say 'I know this girl, she's looking for this kind of a guy' and then we look through our files and we say 'it looks like I've got a match!'"
For many Jews, matching young men and women in matrimony has taken on a new urgency -- a push to rush ultra-Orthodox singles, and sometimes even their modern Orthodox counterparts, to the altar. That's because some Jewish leaders see declining marriage rates, alongside an increasing population of unmarried Jews in their 20s and 30s, as a crisis that threatens the survival of their faith. One answer to the calamity of Jewish singleness that has emerged is a modified form of arranged marriage -- one that is voluntary and relies on the assistance of matchmakers and family.
Jews are not alone in upholding the practice of arranged or 'assisted' marriage in America. Along with communities more commonly associated with this tradition, such as Hindu Indians, the fast-growing immigrant population of Muslims from the Middle East and South Asia are bringing this age-old practice to contemporary American settings -- in the name of religious doctrine. Even some Evangelical Christians are taking an interest in assisted marriage and have embraced courtship practices similar to those of devout American Muslims.
Advocates of this tradition say arranged marriage helps them preserve their culture and resist assimilation and secularization. Critical observers point out that arranged marriages reveal, at times, an unhealthy preoccupation with ethnic purity; in addition, arranged marriage is often accompanied by rigid male-female roles that can lead to gender inequities.
The How and the Why: Meeting Spiritual and Practical Needs
While Orthodox Jews rely on matchmakers to organize nuptials, U.S. Muslims and Hindus pursue arranged marriage a little differently. Often, parents and extended family networks bring together prospective bride and groom for a series of meetings (chaperoned) and phone calls, with participants entitled to turn away potential mates who don't make the grade.
Many U.S.-based Muslims in particular reject a forced arrangement, because the Koran includes a story in which Mohammad spared a young woman from an unwanted compulsory marriage. In contrast, arranged matrimony that is voluntary fulfills the spiritual requirements of many of the world's major religions to restrict sex to marriage, start families and hand down beliefs to the next generation. On a more practical note, arranged marriage also brings together young people who, because of religious restrictions, have limited means to make their own matches. For example, many highly devout Muslims do not date in the conventional sense, or in some cases, fraternize with the opposite sex.
Similarly, casual mingling between unmarried men and women has become a taboo in ultra-Orthodox Jewish circles as well, and interaction between singles in synagogue, and even at weddings, tends to be limited to the occasional glance across the room. The task of finding a like-minded spouse is next to impossible for many observant singles. That's why, among some Jews, professional matchmakers -- or even close family friends -- have stepped up to the plate to help ease the burden of finding a mate.
"Many years ago if it was a nice boy, a nice girl, a good home, they looked nice -- done deal," says Frankel, a matchmaker. "[Now] there's a lot of separation between boys and girls ... not like 30 years ago when we were just friendly, now you're sort of not allowed to do that. Things are very separate so we've actually had to start becoming matchmakers, putting couples together because it's more official now, let's put it that way."
Anecdotal reports suggest that a flurry of matchmaking groups -- informal and professional -- who charge anywhere from a few thousand to $20,000 and above for higher-profile matches, have popped up all over the U.S. to satisfy the growing demand for Jewish happily-ever-afters. Frankel considers herself a relatively small-time matchmaker, with 200-300 singles profiles on hand, but she knows other matchmakers who have thousands.
"There always have been matchmakers," Frankel says, "but now it's just gone really big time." Matchmakers are highly respected and their work is taken seriously enough to command a fee for their services. If families can't afford to pay cash, they might be expected to offer a gift of jewelry or silver as a token of gratitude. The work of a matchmaker, after all, is an increasingly exact science and serious business. Shadchonim (matchmakers) like Frankel interview singles, call references and keep their eyes opened for red flags. "The whole thing is about checking," Frankel says. "We call references, everybody calls the person's rabbi. You talk to teachers, acquaintances -- people check you out."
Singles can look at the religious credentials of their potential spouses pre-date to find out how often they study the Torah, what Yeshiva they attended, and whether or not they listen to English music or watch TV. Singles can even find out if a potential love interest has had any sicknesses or divorces in the family. "Everyone has their different things they want: what kind of family they come from, the lineage, are they wealthy, are they good-looking," Frankel says. "Everything is checked out, and if it's something that they don't like then the match is off."
Limited Dating When singles finally meet each other, their dates are usually brief and often involve frank discussions about personal values, expectations and hopes for the future -- conversations that, in secular dating, might be reserved for first or second anniversaries.
"It's very innocent, sweet stuff. They're very limited in what they can do," Frankel says. Shidduch dating isn't about flirting, or building relationships with people who didn't have similar values or life goals. Matchmaking is about marriage, and couples are expected to wed -- or move on -- after a brief courtship. The same principle holds true among South Asians, who expect prospective spouses to signal early on if they don't wish to pursue a relationship.
"You don't go out with somebody for years," Frankel says, referring to Orthodox courtship. "It's basically a three month limit and you don't date anyone else while you're dating that one person." Courtship Far and Wide
Singles seeking assisted marriage, whether Jewish or Hindu or Muslim, often look beyond their own zip codes for Mr. and Mrs. Right. In addition to relying on matchmakers and family networks, parents searching for their child's ideal partner can use online matching sites, such as MuslimMatch.com, bharatmatrimony.com and Indianmarriages.com. Among ultra-Orthodox singles, Sawyouatsinai.com is popular and allows users to sign up with a matchmaker on the site.
SAMPLE OF MUSLIM ARRANGED MARRIAGE:
For 24-year-old Ismail Mohammed Fazel of Hawthorne, California, arranged marriage was not a particularly high-tech affair. His father decided when it was time for him to tie the knot and informed his son that he had picked out a bride for him; Fazel later found out that his union had been in the planning for many years -- since shortly after his and his wife's births.
SAMPLE OF MUSLIM ARRANGED MARRIAGE:
For 24-year-old Ismail Mohammed Fazel of Hawthorne, California, arranged marriage was not a particularly high-tech affair. His father decided when it was time for him to tie the knot and informed his son that he had picked out a bride for him; Fazel later found out that his union had been in the planning for many years -- since shortly after his and his wife's births.
She was his cousin and had been raised in Afghanistan. At that time, she spoke no English, and Fazel was not fully fluent in Pashtun -- he initially resisted his father's decree. And while he welcomed the opportunity to marry within his religion, Islam, he had hoped for a more educated partner. Not only that, he confided in an interview later, he didn't particularly like the looks of his betrothed, whose photo was made available to him. (The photo was taken when she was ill, and she is, it turns out, quite attractive.)
What changed his mind? The desire to honor his father, for one. "My mother is like my best friend, but my father, I kind of fear and respect him. So for that reason I agreed to it," he says. "Not at first. At first I thought, 'What will my friends say?'" Beyond filial duty, another motivation to marry was the belief that it would prevent assimilation and the watering-down of traditional cultural ties and practices. "I went to school here, became Americanized," Fazel says, explaining that in recent years he had started to engage in haram (prohibited) activities such as partying.
On his wedding night, Fazel told his bride to be that, "I am leaving my American way of life for you," he said, though it's worth noting that his wife, 23-year-old Sayda Khalil Khan, seems to have taken to her life in America surprisingly quickly. Wearing lip gloss, mascara, her hair gelled back into a thick ponytail and sporting stylish jeans, Khan sat recently at a Starbuck's sipping a frothy pumpkin coffee drink and conversing in Pashtun, at one point high-fiving her husband over a joke. She had enrolled in English classes and worked at a local Sikh grocery story before giving birth to the couple's first child in May -- a far cry from the young woman who looked so despondent and was confused by an escalator when she arrived in the U.S. for the first time.
"My wife, I really love her from her head to her toes," he says. "We argue like normal human beings ... Just stupid stuff. When I don't listen to her sometimes. And she doesn't want me to see my friends." One of Fazel's dreams is for his children to visit Afghanistan regularly and to memorize the Koran before the age of 10 -- goals that would have been far more difficult if his wife did not share his cultural and religious background.
The Pitfalls of Purity It would be easy to attribute the return of arranged or assisted marriage to religious practice alone, and in fact religion is the most obvious explanation. But beyond satisfying religious needs, arranged marriage also responds to many immigrants' desire, as in Fazel's case, to preserve native culture. It serves to prevent total assimilation into modern American life, and sometimes, to avoid mixing with other cultures -- even in cases of a shared religious background.
"Sometimes there is pressure to stay within your ethnic group," explains Dr. Laila Al-Marayati, of the Los Angeles-based Muslim Women's League. Al-Maryati herself eschewed arranged marriage, meeting her husband in an Islamic center youth group and tying the knot at 22.
She believes arranged marriages offer many advantages, but she's also concerned that some of the arrangements perpetuate racism and clannishness, discouraging matrimony among Muslims of different nationalities or even geographic regions within the same country. So, for example, a family from Hyderabad might not only want their child's mate to be Muslim and Indian but also from the same region of India. In another example, Al-Maryati has observed that some Muslim immigrants are open to intermarriage with white U.S.-born Muslims but not necessarily with African-American Muslims.
"There is an element of racism there that people have to overcome," Al-Maryati says. "Our religion, as everybody knows, is color-blind, so for people trying to be good Muslims, it's totally consistent to have interracial, inter-ethnic marriages." In reality, however, many practitioners of arranged marriage clearly prefer their own kind to outsiders. Among Hindu Indian Americans, for example, parents seek a mate for their child who not only shares their religion and nationality but also their caste or even subcaste, according to Chitra Ranganathan, a professor at Framingham State College who has researched Indian identity and who tried assisted marriage but ultimately made her own match.
Similarly, the emphasis in Orthodox Jewish assisted marriage is often on similar backgrounds and not simply a shared religion. For example, some Orthodox Jews specify a wish to marry others of Eastern European descent, while others only want partners from Orthodox families. "People who aren't Orthodox from birth are having a hard time finding matches," says Elisheva, an Orthodox convert from Detroit who found her husband through Sawyouatsinai.com.
High Birth Rates and Gender Roles While Orthodox Judaism is statistically alive and well -- it's the fastest- growing branch of Judaism -- the American Jewish population is predicted to shrink as a whole by about 33 percent to an estimated 3.8 million by the year 2080, according to the American Jewish Year Book. Analysts say that changing demographic trends are contributing to a population drop among Jews living outside Israel: Young American Jews are divorcing at higher rates than their parents, marrying non-Jews and postponing marriage -- a daunting reality for a community preoccupied with its own continuity.
Rebbetzin Judi Steinig, a program director for the National Council of Young Israel, emphasizes the problem of singleness as a culprit in the population decrease, because Jews who marry later in life tend to have fewer children. "Right now in the Orthodox community it's not uncommon for Orthodox families to have 10 children, however we're still not making up for those that have been lost from the holocaust," she says. "It's critical to the Jewish community that young people meet the appropriate person and continue our faith."
Although Orthodox singles are expected to marry young and have children of their own by their early 20s, more than one third of Jewish women and 52 percent of Jewish men aged 25-34 are single, according to the Jewish National Population Survey, an issue that Steinig says needs to be addressed as a community. "When you have a situation like this, it should be everyone's problem," she says. "You have beautiful women ... and you see them single when they really should be having families."
But what kind of families? While not every arranged marriage yields 10 children, as in Steinig's example above, arranged marriages -- by perpetuating traditional religion and culture -- tend to perpetuate traditional ideas about gender. Arranged marriages are often typified by youthful matrimony, emphasis on female virginity, childbirth without delay and large families, so much so that, for example, single Orthodox women in their 20s are often considered undesirable spinsters. The problem, from a feminist standpoint, is fairly obvious: the traditional belief system encoded in many an arranged marriage can seem to value women foremost for their virginity and reproductive capacity and not for their other contributions, whether economic, professional or creative. Further, women who experience a rapid succession of multiple births at an early age are more likely to miss out on the chance to pursue higher education or their own economic livelihoods -- assets they might well need or want at some point in their lives.
Arranged marriages involving immigrant brides are associated with the most gaping gender inequities, since the husband-to-be is almost always the older, more educated, English-proficient and financially secure party. These disparities are especially common when U.S.-raised men take brides from their parents' home countries with the expectation that the women will perform many of the domestic duties -- homemaking, child-rearing, etc. -- to which women have been traditionally assigned. Still, some young women who come to the U.S. to marry find ways to pursue ambitions beyond those initially expected of them by their husbands and families. Many immigrant brides prove eager to adapt to life in the U.S., getting their driver's licenses, learning English and finding employment, according to Laila Al-Maryat of the Muslim Women's League. A prime example would be the case of Fazel's wife Sayda, who found a job working at a local Sikh grocery store because she was so bored at being housebound, a decision he didn't like initially but came to understand. Sayda quit her job recently after giving birth to her daughter. Time will tell whether she fulfills her earlier ambitions to pursue education and earning opportunities.
The Christian Approach Sayda's story -- arranged marriage, early childbirth -- is not unique to Muslims or Orthodox Jews in the U.S. Among American Christians, a rare form of assisted marriage has developed. It's called Biblical Betrothal and it discourages dating and courtship in favor of two young people getting to know one another, in the company of a chaperone and with a serious interest in marriage in mind -- a practice that sounds very much like courtship among devout Muslims. With Biblical Betrothal, parents are consulted upon the man's proposal, though their daughter has the final say, and, as in arranged marriage, love is often expected to come later, after the marriage has taken place.
"We feel it is more important for your emotions to follow you than for you to follow your emotions," says Israel Wayne, whose own marriage was suggested by his mother after he had spent mere days visiting with the woman he eventually came to wed. Both of them writers and employees in Christian publishing, he and his wife had corresponded prior to meeting, but upon being introduced in person, Wayne remembers, "There wasn't the type of spark I would have anticipated." Nine and a half years -- and five children later -- however, "We have a very romantic relationship," Wayne says. Biblical Betrothal, which Wayne publicly advocates as a speaker and author, is a surprising development, given that arranged or assisted marriage largely faded in western European societies after being the norm for more than 1,000 years.
History of Arranged Marriage in the West "Until about the 16th century, arranged marriages were very common in the European tradition," explains Stephanie Coontz, historian and best-selling author of Marriage, a History. "Throughout most of human history, people believed marriage was much too important ... and much too vital for in-laws to allow young people to choose on the basis of love."
As a result, "Marriage was an important political and economic tool. The nobility fought over who controlled marriage like countries fight over oil resources." Even for lower classes, marriage was a key way to control property and alliances. But in Anglo-American societies, wage labor and the rise in democracy and individual rights allowed young people to support themselves and inspired them to exercise greater independence in choosing a mate. Future Trends: Freedom to Choose?
Coontz expects more movement toward freedom to choose a mate globally, noting that Japan only phased our arranged marriage in the 1960s, and that in 2005 Saudi Arabia enacted a law that prevents forcing a marriage on a daughter. In some cases, immigrant cultures in the U.S. are holding onto arranged marriage as tightly, if not more so, than their counterparts in their home countries -- perhaps because the potential to choose outside one's own background is so much greater here. For example, Indian immigrants in the U.S. still rely on arranged marriage; meanwhile, "Increasingly in India, more young people are demanding the right to choose their own mate," Coontz says.
Success Rate Among Hindu Indians, parents consult astrologists to assess whether horoscopes indicate that the personalities of the betrothed are compatible, Ranganthan explains. Still, the couple's happiness tends to be less important than parental satisfaction. "Parents pressure you into making a decision, but as far as they're concerned, it's two families merging, not necessarily two individuals." She adds that, "We're pretty much blackmailed into culturally conforming to what our parents want." Does marriage for the sake of parents, religion and culture make for a successful union?
The answer depends on what you believe makes for a successful marriage, according to Coontz, marriage historian and sociologist. The traditional values associated with arranged marriage tend to ensure lower divorce rates, she says. But they are no guarantee of personal happiness. "Arranged marriage is more likely to last but not more likely to be better. There are all of these support systems and pressures that prevent you from leaving," Coontz says.
In worst-case scenarios, arranged marriages can trap women, whether in oppressive gender roles or, in the case of foreign-born brides, in abusive unions. Another pitfall in an arranged marriage can be the potential for one party to be duped, given the short and formal period of courtship, such as in cases of a bride or groom motivated only by the possibility of a green card.
Goodbye Heartache On the plus side, arranged marriages are a way to avoid multiple relationships and inevitable heartache. When Ismail Fazel was growing up in the United States, he tried dating but eventually found a futility in it -- a hunger for permanence that short-lived relationships failed to satisfy, no matter how intense. "I did love a girl once," Fazal says. "I'm a modern person in this world. I'm not in my cave ... I'm educated. I was really in love with this girl and we broke up. I did everything right and she liked me too and now there's no more love. It didn't make sense for me."
Serial relationships also didn't make sense for Sabaa Tahir, a devout Muslim who avoided dating while in college at UCLA for religious reasons. Despite her traditional upbringing, however, she grew up liberal and feminist and was hesitant to agree to an arranged marriage. She eventually wrote an article in the Washington Post about her doubts, ending the piece with her decision to consent to the process, largely out of respect for her parents' wishes. But life held a surprise for her ... Among the people who read her piece and responded was a young man, also Pakistani-American, who called with a number of questions. She encouraged him to write her, launching a series of discussions by email that led -- eventually -- to affection. Mindful of their shared beliefs, they kept their discussions chaste.
"We were writing each other the way friends would," she recalls. "We didn't know what each other looked like." They only knew how much they had to say to each other on a variety of topics, from discussions about having Pakistani parents, the Middle East, school and work.
Growing Closer
"He has a strong sense of humor, as do I. We would spend hours composing these emails. Our families would make fun of us ... so are you writing the Bible over there? Who is this person so worth three hours of your time to compose emails?" Little by little, they were growing closer, which caused an immediate problem because Tahir's parents were rounding up doctors and engineers for her to consider. She told them to give her a little time and arranged to meet the man with whom she was corresponding.
When Tahir and her husband to be finally laid eyes on each other, her brother accompanied her to their first in-person meeting. The chemistry was real, and they married, with their parents' permission. Tahir and her husband now live in suburban northern Virginia and are buying their first house. She works as a copy editor at the Washington Post, while he is a social entrepreneur. For them, marrying within the faith and in compliance with restrictions on dating was the right path, though they found a partner independent of their parents.
Not that her husband's parents were hands-off, exactly. In fact, they were recommending finding a young woman from Pakistan before he and Tahir came forward.
"He used to joke that he resigned himself to a girl who was smart and nice to his family but not someone he could really relate to. He always held out the hope that he would meet someone who would be his equal. He wanted someone who was independent," she says, "so that life would be interesting, and he would have a partner."
AUTHOR: Amy DePaul is a writer and college instructor who lives in Irvine, California. Her articles have appeared in The Washington Post and many other newspapers. Amy Williams graduated with a degree in Economics from the University of California-Irvine.
4) Afghan Women Jailed for Being Victims of Rape:
independent.co.uk August 18, 2008
In Lashkar Gah, the majority of female prisoners are serving 20-year sentences for being forced to have sex. Terri Judd visited them and heard their extraordinary stories
Zirdana, right, with her son and Saliha, centre, in Lashkar Gah prisonBeneath the anonymity of the sky-blue burqa, Saliha's slender frame and voice betray her young age.Asked why she was serving seven years in jail alongside hardened insurgents and criminals, the 15-year-old giggled and buried her head in her friend's shoulder. "She is shy," apologised fellow inmate Zirdana, explaining that the teenager had been married at a young age to an abusive husband and ran away with a boy from her neighbourhood.
Asked whether she had loved the boy, Saliha squirmed with childish embarrassment as her friend replied: "Yes." Ostracised from her family and village, Saliha was convicted of escaping from home and illegal sexual relations. The first carries a maximum penalty of 10 years, the second 20. These are two of the most common accusations facing female prisoners in Afghanistan.
Two-thirds of the women in Lashkar Gah's medieval-looking jail have been convicted of illegal sexual relations, but most are simply rape victims – mirroring the situation nationwide. The system does not distinguish between those who have been attacked and those who have chosen to run off with a man.
But there are signs of progress. A female shura, or consultative council, was established in Helmand province last week to try to combat the injustice of treating an abused woman as a criminal, and not a victim. British officers and Afghan government officials from the province's reconstruction team are also overseeing a project to build humane accommodation for the 400 male and female prisoners.
In a separate area are the female "criminals" – the youngest is just 13 years old – along with their small children, who must stay with their mothers if no one else will claim them. Their only luxury is a carpet, two blankets, basic cooking facilities and two daily deliveries of bread. They have neither medical care nor, as Colonel Ali acknowledged, "basic human facilities", such as washing areas, electricity and drinking water. All this he hopes will be rectified when the new building his finished.
Last week, in Helmand, the new Women and Children's Justice Shura met and voted in its constitution with the help of advisers from the Afghan Human Rights Committee and support from the Women's Affairs Department, as well as a government legal adviser. The shura is hoping to provide a place where women can report abuse and create a separate centre for women and girls incarcerated for running away. It would be a compromise of custody without the stigma of being thrown in jail.
"They are very aware of the inequality in the system," said Royal Navy Lieutenant Rebecca Parnell, a member of the Cimic, or civil-military co-operation, team. "The most refreshing thing is that there are plans coming from the Department of Women's Affairs. It is not just us pushing our ideas on to them." The military aid team has programmes for monthly health checks and trauma counselling in the prison as well as vocational training in carpet weaving, tailoring, literacy and basic health education.
5) UNITED STATES FUNDING GRANT OPPORTUNITIES:
(USAID: UNITED STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT)
1) Ummah of Kosovo: "Public-Private Alliances Related to Child and Maternal Health in Kosovo - Modification" USAID would like to make a special call for concept papers that relate to the health sector in Kosovo. Specifically, USAID is seeking to partner with qualified institutions willing to devote resources that will help improve the health of women and children in Kosovo. As of August 15, 2008, the closing date of this announcement is September 30, 2008.
2) Ummah of Iraq: "Iraq Community Action Program, Phase III" USAID-Baghdad is seeking applications from qualified organizations to implement the next phase of the Iraq Community Action Program (CAP III). CAP will promote diverse and representative citizen participation throughout Iraq, will engage and assist local government in articulating and acting on needs identified by communities and will assist innocent victims of military operations. As of August 15, 2008, the closing date for this announcement is Sep 30, 2008.
3) Ummah of Bangladesh: "Post-Cyclone Sidr Livelihood, Reconstruction, Disaster Mitigation and Preparedness" USAID-Dhaka is requesting applications to restore livelihoods and provide increased and sustained livelihood opportunities for the cyclone-affected population in southern Bangladesh. As of August 15, 2008, the closing date of this announcement is January 15, 2009.
6) Oh, our Ummah, where are you ?
Extreme Social Tragedy in Iraq- 50,000 Iraqis turn to prostitution for survival and to support their families. "I met three sisters-in-law recently who were living together and all prostituting themselves,” Sister Marie-Claude said. “They would go out on alternate nights — each woman took her turn —and then divide the money to feed all the children.” Girls as young as ten forced into sex for money. In many cases the head of the family brings the client to their own home (to receive sexual services) from the daughter for money and in other cases families selling their daughters for survival.
(ED NOTE: In the true sense of the UMMAH, Muslims should reach out to help the distressed Muslims. A good practicing Muslim in Syria or from other neighboring Arab countries could have considered himself an ANSAR and networked with other families and members from their local Mosques and community organizations to help the distressed MUHAJAREEN of Iraq. But while we acknowledge the existence of good, caring Muslims who have helped the Iraqi refugees, what is very disturbing is the non-practicing Muslim men who have exploited our Iraqi sisters in their most helpless of times to fullfill their personal carnal lust and desires. Obviously, such men HAVE THE MONEY to pay for the sexual services received from our helpless & unfortunate Iraqi sisters, but they have no money to voluntarily contribute for the well being of the refugees(without sexually exploiting their helplessness). Are such Muslim men truly a part of our Ummah ?)
About 50,000 Iraqi refugee women and girls are being sold for sex. There is a large sex trade in young Iraqi girls in the nightclubs of Damascus. Fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds—literally girls–not even women yet, and even children, are being sold.
by Suki Falconberg
August 10, 2008
I asked for her permission to use the information, since e-mail correspondence is private; and she urged me to share it with the world, in hopes we will all help. Before I do, though, a little background, from other sources, on what is happening.
About 50,000 Iraqi refugee women and girls are being sold for sex. There is a large sex trade in young Iraqi girls in the nightclubs of Damascus. Fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds—literally girls–not even women yet, and even children, are being sold. (MSNBC, CBS, CNN, Reuters, the Associated Press, Salon Magazine, the UK Guardian, the Independent, the New York Times, the Women’s Commission for Refugee Women and Children, the Organization of Women’s Freedom in Iraq, Human Rights Watch—all have covered the Iraqi prostitution situation due to the war. See “Sources” below for information and for some coverage of the prostitution picture inside Iraq as well.)
All the fancy phrases about a war being “A Right War” or “A Just War” have no meaning for her. Is the woman who must walk the streets of Baghdad and sell her body to feed her children in any way aware of the politicians, sitting in their neat offices, making the decisions that have destroyed her life? Would she consider this ‘a right war’ and ‘a just war’ and a war for her ‘freedom’? What do these men and women–who have endless debates, in their safe offices, about policy and weapons and troop reductions–have to do with her? The thing is: a woman never, ever thinks: what a great war this is—it has given me the ‘freedom’ to sell my body.
Miss Adel is shocked at what she saw in Syria, like the sale of ten-year-old girls. “What kind of sick demented human being would want to have sex with a 10-year-old?” she asks. UN “High Commission for Refugees” Does Nothing But Collect Money to Line Government Officials’ Pockets.
Ms. Adel also comments on the ineffectiveness of the UN High Commission for Refugees and on local corruption: “I couldn’t take it seeing the UNHCR just sitting there doing nothing, while governments like the Syrian government and the Jordanian government see this as an opportunity to manipulate the countries of the world to donate millions of dollars to Syria and Jordan and the money goes into the pockets of government officials and the U.N. staff.” She goes on to say that “the Syrian and Jordanian governments are taking advantage of the refugee situation to turn it into a profitable business.” And she thinks that greed and apathy on the part of Iraq and the U.S. are also responsible for the plight of the women. Of course, she could not be more on-target: the terrible sexual exploitation of women as a result of war is always extremely low on all governmental, political, and military agendas. It is important in so far as others can make money off the women’s bodies and use them for male convenience: but it is not an aspect of war where anyone pays attention to female safety, dignity, and well being at all.
It is interesting that Ms. Adel notes the failure of the UN in this matter since I have asked, in my own writings, where the UNHCR funds are going in Syria. The UN is extremely well funded. It would seem that not one single Iraqi teen should be for sale in a Damascus nightclub if all that money is going where it should be going. (For a good summary of the corruption problems at the UN, see Nile Gardiner’s article, “Kofi Annan’s ‘Legacy of Failure’” [11 Dec. 2006] at www.heritage.org). Someone to monitor the UN is one of Ms. Adel’s suggestions.
Ms. Adel also criticizes the current government in Iraq for not implementing social programs to help refugees. The Organization of Women’s Freedom in Iraq headed by Yanar Mohammed, is a good source for the hardships of women forced into prostitution within the country.
She says that the “annual government budget in Iraq exceeds 70 billion US dollars. Where is that money going? Power cuts are long, people get electricity for only an hour or two a day…water is cut off as well.” She would like to see some of the money going to fund the Iraqi women and girls in Syria who are so desperate they must sell themselves to survive. Ms. Adel brings up a great question—to repeat it—where is the money in Iraq going? Is US and Iraqi corruption, combined, so overwhelming that a few are getting enormously rich and the majority of Iraqis are suffering terrible hardships, and in the case of the subject of this article, the women in prostitution, those hardships mean bodies and lives that will be nightmares forever from this degradation.
A story entitled “Iraq’s Oil Profits Huge” by Kevin Hall (McClatchy Newspapers) came out just a few days ago (Aug. 5, 2008) and it reports that “Iraq…racked up $32.9 billion in oil earnings from January through June of this year.” In my view, with those kinds of funds, the Iraqi government could extensively care for all of those 50,000 suffering women and girls whose bodies and lives have been so degraded. It could provide for that 10-year-old Iraqi girl prostitute for the rest of her life and give her the counseling and care and protection and safety she deserves.
War never benefits women. Condi Rice, you are supposedly a woman. Explain to me how Operation Iraqi Freedom works? How does it benefit the 50,000 or more prostituted women and girls you have destroyed?
The most moving part of her e-mail was her description of a visit to prostituted Iraqi girls in a Syrian prison. “I spoke to some of them,” Ms. Adel writes, “and they said they would rather be in prison than have to go back out there and get abused by Saudi, Kuwaiti, and other Gulf States men who still hold grudges against Iraq and find pleasure in abusing Iraqi women to make them pay for Iraq’s war against these Gulf States in 1991.”
It is the same old story of men using women’s bodies as battlefields, and the women have no chance of victory in this kind of war.
There is nothing new, of course, in the Iraq situation—all wars cause terrible sexual abuse of women. But I think we are now in a better position to finally do something about the war in front of us—Iraq. During Vietnam, the prostituting of at least a half a million Vietnamese woman, and hundreds of thousand more in Thailand, where troops took R & R, and of pathetic girls on Okinawa forced to service long lines of GI’s having ‘fun’ breaks from the war—all of this was hidden for decades—still continues to be hidden. But there are now at least a few historical accounts of what happened in Vietnam and Thailand; and there are now more of us women who know what is going on, who are outraged, who “aren’t going to take it anymore.” I say let’s make Iraq the first war where we really uncover the terrible sexual toll on women. And act upon this knowledge to help.
I would like to know more about the sexual assault on women in Iraq: rapes by American and coalition forces; rapes by the Iraqi police and military; rapes by Iraqi civilian men; rapes of women and girls detained in prisons; gang rapes; women forced into starvation prostitution—either for the occupying forces or for Iraqis; the increase of brothels in Baghdad and Basra as a result of the occupation; the trafficking of women and girls into prostitution by criminal gangs, either within Iraq or in surrounding countries; the way families are forced to sell daughters for survival; any ‘survival sex’ women and girls are engaged in due to desperation; ‘survival sex’ forced upon the refugee population (2 million in Iraq–2 million in surrounding countries); the trafficking, by U.S. military contractors, of Filipina and Chinese girls into brothels in the Green Zone; the role of the U.S. Military Police in the pimping of Iraqi women and girls; the physical and psychological state of the prostituted Iraqi girls trafficked into the Green Zone for paid rape; the rape of female military personnel by their own men—and anything else you may have seen going on in Iraq.
This writer would welcome suggestions from readers about what all of us can do to help. Suki Falconberg is a former prostitute and the author of two novels: Tender Bodies and Whore Stories and its sequel, Comfort the Comfort Women. Both are erotic satires on military prostitution and can be ordered at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Borders.
Desperate Iraqi Refugees Turn to Sex Trade in Syria
New York Times By KATHERINE ZOEPF May 29, 2007
MARABA, Syria
Back home in Iraq, Umm Hiba’s daughter was a devout schoolgirl, modest in her dress and serious about her studies. Hiba, who is now 16, wore the hijab, or Islamic head scarf, and rose early each day to say the dawn prayer before classes. Maraba, a suburb of Damascus, has become a hub of prostitution.
Back home in Iraq, Umm Hiba’s daughter was a devout schoolgirl, modest in her dress and serious about her studies. Hiba, who is now 16, wore the hijab, or Islamic head scarf, and rose early each day to say the dawn prayer before classes. Maraba, a suburb of Damascus, has become a hub of prostitution.
But that was before militias began threatening their Baghdad neighborhood and Umm Hiba and her daughter fled to Syria last spring. There were no jobs, and Umm Hiba’s elderly father developed complications related to his diabetes. Desperate, Umm Hiba followed the advice of an Iraqi acquaintance and took her daughter to work at a nightclub along a highway known for prostitution. “We Iraqis used to be a proud people,” she said over the frantic blare of the club’s speakers. She pointed out her daughter, dancing among about two dozen other girls on the stage, wearing a pink silk dress with spaghetti straps, her frail shoulders bathed in colored light. As Umm Hiba watched, a middle-aged man climbed onto the platform and began to dance jerkily, arms flailing, among the girls.
“During the war we lost everything,” she said. “We even lost our honor.” She insisted on being identified by only part of her name — Umm Hiba means mother of Hiba.
For anyone living in Damascus these days, the fact that some Iraqi refugees are selling sex or working in sex clubs is difficult to ignore.
Even in central Damascus, men freely talk of being approached by pimps trawling for customers outside juice shops and shawarma sandwich stalls, and of women walking up to passing men, an act unthinkable in Arab culture, and asking in Iraqi-accented Arabic if the men would like to “have a cup of tea.”
By day the road that leads from Damascus to the historic convent at Saidnaya is often choked with Christian and Muslim pilgrims hoping for one of the miracles attributed to a portrait of the Virgin Mary at the convent. But as any Damascene taxi driver can tell you, the Maraba section of this fabled pilgrim road is fast becoming better known for its brisk trade in Iraqi prostitutes. Many of these women and girls, including some barely in their teens, are recent refugees. Some are tricked or forced into prostitution, but most say they have no other means of supporting their families. As a group they represent one of the most visible symptoms of an Iraqi refugee crisis that has exploded in Syria in recent months.
According to the United Nations high commissioner for refugees, about 1.2 million Iraqi refugees now live in Syria; the Syrian government puts the figure even higher. Given the deteriorating economic situation of those refugees, a United Nations report found last year, many girls and women in “severe need” turn to prostitution, in secret or even with the knowledge or involvement of family members. In many cases, the report added, “the head of the family brings clients to the house.” Aid workers say thousands of Iraqi women work as prostitutes in Syria, and point out that as violence in Iraq has increased, the refugee population has come to include more female-headed households and unaccompanied women.
“So many of the Iraqi women arriving now are living on their own with their children because the men in their families were killed or kidnapped,” said Sister Marie-Claude Naddaf, a Syrian nun at the Good Shepherd convent in Damascus, which helps Iraqi refugees. She said the convent had surveyed Iraqi refugees living in Masaken Barzeh, on the outskirts of Damascus, and found 119 female-headed households in one small neighborhood. Some of the women, seeking work outside the home for the first time and living in a country with high unemployment, find that their only marketable asset is their bodies.
“I met three sisters-in-law recently who were living together and all prostituting themselves,” Sister Marie-Claude said. “They would go out on alternate nights — each woman took her turn —and then divide the money to feed all the children.” For more than three years after the American-led invasion of Iraq in 2003, Iraqi prostitution in Syria, like any prostitution, was a forbidden topic for Syria’s government. Like drug abuse, the sex trade tends to be referred to in the local news media as acts against public decency. But Dietrun Günther, an official at the United Nations refugee agency’s Damascus office, said the government was finally breaking its silence.
We’re especially concerned that there are young girls involved, and that they’re being forced, even smuggled into Syria in some cases,” Ms. Günther said. “We’ve had special talks with the Syrian government about prostitution.” She called the officials’ new openness “a great step.” Mouna Asaad, a Syrian women’s rights lawyer, said the government had been blindsided by the scale of the arriving Iraqi refugee population. Syria does not require visas for citizens of Arab countries, and its government had pledged to assist needy Iraqis. But this country of 19 million was ill equipped to cope with the sudden arrival of hundreds of thousands of them, Ms. Asaad said.
“Sometimes you see whole families living this way, the girls pimped by the mother or aunt,” she said. “But prostitution isn’t the only problem. Our schools are overcrowded, and the prices of services, food and transportation have all risen. We don’t have the proper infrastructure to deal with this. We don’t have shelters or health centers that these women can go to. And because of the situation in Iraq, Syria is careful not to deport these women.” Most of the semi-organized prostitution takes place on the outskirts of the capital, in nightclubs known as casinos — a local euphemism, because no gambling occurs.
PHOTO: At Al Rawabi, an expensive nightclub in Al Hami, customers can drink imported Scotch, smoke water pipes and watch a show featuring young Iraqi woman gyrating to a 10-piece band on a garishly lighted stage.
At Al Rawabi, an expensive nightclub in Al Hami, there is even a floor show with an Iraqi theme. One recent evening, waiters brought out trays of snacks: French fries and grilled chicken hearts wrapped in foil folded into diamond shapes. A 10-piece band warmed up, and an M.C. gave the traditionally overwrought introduction in Arabic: “I give you the honey of all stages, the stealer of all hearts, the most golden throat, the glamorous artist: Maria!” Maria, a buxom young woman, climbed onto the stage and began an anguished-sounding ballad. “After Iraq I have no homeland,” she sang. “I’m ready to go crawling on my knees back to Iraq.” Four other women, all wearing variations on leopard print, gyrated on stage, swinging their hair in wild circles. The stage lights had been fitted with colored gel filters that lent the women’s skin a greenish cast.
Al Rawabi’s customers watched Maria calmly, leaning back in their chairs and drinking Johnnie Walker Black. The large room smelled strongly of sweat mingled with the apple tobacco from scores of water pipes. When Maria finished singing, no one clapped. She picked up the microphone again and began what she called a salute to Iraq, naming many of the Iraqi women in the club and, indicating one of the women in leopard print who had danced with her, “most especially my best friend, Sahar.” After the dancers filed offstage and scattered around the room to talk to customers, Sahar told a visitor she was from the Dora district of Baghdad but had left “because of the troubles.” Now, she said she would leave the club with him for $200. Aid workers say $50 to $70 is considered a good night’s wage for an Iraqi prostitute working in Damascus. And some of the Iraqi dancers in the crowded casinos of Damascus suburbs earn much less.
In Maraba, Umm Hiba would not say how much money her daughter took home at the end of a night. Noticing her reluctance, the club’s manager, who introduced himself as Hassan, broke in proudly. “We make sure that each girl has a minimum of 500 lira at the end of each night, no matter how bad business is,” he said, mentioning a sum of about $10. “We are sympathetic to the situation of the Iraqi people. And we try to give some extra help to the girls whose families are in special difficulties.” Umm Hiba shook her head. “It’s true that the managers here are good, that they’re helping us and not stealing the girls’ money,” she said. “But I’m so angry. “Do you think we’re happy that these men from the gulf are seeing our daughters’ naked bodies?” Most so-called casinos do not appear to directly broker arrangements between prostitutes and their customers. Zafer, a waiter at the club where Hiba works, said that the club earned money through sales of food and alcohol and that the dancers were encouraged to sit with male customers and order drinks to increase revenues. Zafer, who spoke on condition that only his first name be used, refused to discuss specific women and girls at the club, but said that most of them did sell sexual favors. “They have an hourly rate,” he said. “And they have regular customers.” Inexpensive Iraqi prostitutes have helped to make Syria a popular destination for sex tourists from wealthier countries in the Middle East.
In the club’s parking lot, nearly half of the cars had Saudi license plates. From Damascus it is only about six hours by car, passing through Jordan, to the Saudi border. Syria, where it is relatively easy to buy alcohol and dance with women, is popular as a low-cost weekend destination for groups of Saudi men. And though some women of other nationalities, including Russians and Moroccans, still work as prostitutes in Damascus, Abeer, a 23-year-old from Baghdad working at the same club as Hiba, explained that the arriving Iraqis had pushed many of them out of business. “From what I’ve seen, 70 percent to 80 percent of the girls working this business in Damascus today are Iraqis,” she said. “The rents here in Syria are too expensive for their families. If they go back to Iraq they’ll be slaughtered, and this is the only work available.”
Al Rawabi’s customers watched Maria calmly, leaning back in their chairs and drinking Johnnie Walker Black. The large room smelled strongly of sweat mingled with the apple tobacco from scores of water pipes. When Maria finished singing, no one clapped. She picked up the microphone again and began what she called a salute to Iraq, naming many of the Iraqi women in the club and, indicating one of the women in leopard print who had danced with her, “most especially my best friend, Sahar.” After the dancers filed offstage and scattered around the room to talk to customers, Sahar told a visitor she was from the Dora district of Baghdad but had left “because of the troubles.” Now, she said she would leave the club with him for $200. Aid workers say $50 to $70 is considered a good night’s wage for an Iraqi prostitute working in Damascus. And some of the Iraqi dancers in the crowded casinos of Damascus suburbs earn much less.
In Maraba, Umm Hiba would not say how much money her daughter took home at the end of a night. Noticing her reluctance, the club’s manager, who introduced himself as Hassan, broke in proudly. “We make sure that each girl has a minimum of 500 lira at the end of each night, no matter how bad business is,” he said, mentioning a sum of about $10. “We are sympathetic to the situation of the Iraqi people. And we try to give some extra help to the girls whose families are in special difficulties.” Umm Hiba shook her head. “It’s true that the managers here are good, that they’re helping us and not stealing the girls’ money,” she said. “But I’m so angry. “Do you think we’re happy that these men from the gulf are seeing our daughters’ naked bodies?” Most so-called casinos do not appear to directly broker arrangements between prostitutes and their customers. Zafer, a waiter at the club where Hiba works, said that the club earned money through sales of food and alcohol and that the dancers were encouraged to sit with male customers and order drinks to increase revenues. Zafer, who spoke on condition that only his first name be used, refused to discuss specific women and girls at the club, but said that most of them did sell sexual favors. “They have an hourly rate,” he said. “And they have regular customers.” Inexpensive Iraqi prostitutes have helped to make Syria a popular destination for sex tourists from wealthier countries in the Middle East.
In the club’s parking lot, nearly half of the cars had Saudi license plates. From Damascus it is only about six hours by car, passing through Jordan, to the Saudi border. Syria, where it is relatively easy to buy alcohol and dance with women, is popular as a low-cost weekend destination for groups of Saudi men. And though some women of other nationalities, including Russians and Moroccans, still work as prostitutes in Damascus, Abeer, a 23-year-old from Baghdad working at the same club as Hiba, explained that the arriving Iraqis had pushed many of them out of business. “From what I’ve seen, 70 percent to 80 percent of the girls working this business in Damascus today are Iraqis,” she said. “The rents here in Syria are too expensive for their families. If they go back to Iraq they’ll be slaughtered, and this is the only work available.”
According to SALON jun 24, 2005, "It's a serious problem because there are young girls doing this -- 11, 12, 13 years old," says Abdelhamid El Ouali, the representative for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees who's based in Damascus. "It's amazing at first. But when you fight for your life, what are you going to do?" That Iraqi girls and women are selling sex may not seem shocking, but prostitution is especially taboo for Arab women. "In this culture, to allow your daughter to become a prostitute means you've hit dirt bottom," says Joshua Landis, an American professor from the University of Oklahoma, presently living in Syria. "None of your sisters can get married if it's known that one of them is a prostitute. If there's any public knowledge of this, it's a shame on the whole family." The shame can even lead to "honor killings," in which women are slain by their husbands or relatives for tainting the family name.
7) MUSLIM CALENDAR.COM
New Look, Better Features
BY ZAID SHAKUR
Launched over 7 years ago, muslim-calendar.com (MC for short) is becoming a leader in the world of Islamic information websites, rivaling long established favorites. But will the community it serves be able to keep up? The late 1990’s marked the rise of a whole slew of Islamic information websites, starting with IslamOnline and the launch of Saudi based IslamicFinder. In 1998, IslamiCity debuted and quickly skyrocketed into the top 100,000 websites in the world, reaching 114,000 Muslim households each month in the US alone. Ten years later the number of Islamic information websites has multiplied. Today you can download Qur’an, ask a scholar, listen to lectures, search ahadith, take an online class in jurisprudence, locate a mosque anywhere in the world, upload Islamic videos---and even find a spouse.
The vast majority of Islamic resource sites deal with the dissemination of Islamic jurisprudence, international news or daw’ah information. But a number of websites, especially the more frequented ones, combine all three. All of them cater to an apparently ever-increasing thirst for information about Islam and Muslims. Muslim Calendar (www.muslim-calendar.com) in particular has become one of the most popular sites in cyberspace and the first on the World Wide Web to provide a comprehensive monthly listing of all the Islamic events and social activities in cities throughout the United States , Canada and the United Kingdom . It is quickly carving its own niche as an invaluable scheduling and publicity tool for mosques, organizations and individuals. Subsequently it is proving to be an advertising gold mine for businesses targeting an affluent Muslim population.
Though, according to the web rankings of Alexa.com, MC has yet to break into the “top 100, 000 club”, but its’ name recognition is steadily increasing thanks to a slick marketing strategy and a surge in internet chatter about the sites latest updates and expanding functionality. The concept of a universal calendar Muslim Calendar operates as a non-profit entity and was founded in Dallas , Texas in 2001, the brainchild of Moazzam Ahmed, a Pakistani-American, computer wiz and University of Texas ( Austin ) graduate.
“As a newcomer to Dallas I wanted to find out what was happening in my area, as well as around the country and found myself having to go back and forth between different local and national organizations’ websites, which incidentally weren’t regularly updated. So I took the initiative to create something that I envisioned as a giant, single repository of events for Muslims throughout the city.”
The initial site that Ahmed developed was a simple ‘meat and potatoes’ site with limited functionality, but capable of maintaining the varying schedules of Dallas ’ numerous Mosques and Islamic organizations. When he undertook the footwork of approaching the responsible individuals in the community to introduce his idea, there was naturally a lot of excitement.
“A few of the prominent members of the community, a couple of the main lecturers, were amazed. They were like ‘We’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for a long time and you just did it’. I actually didn’t talk to a lot of people before hand. I just did it” says Ahmed.
Though his initiative was justified by praise from Dallas ’ Muslim residents, there were problems. Muslim Calendars first version turned out to be less than completely user-friendly as it was intended to be used primarily by Ahmed himself to add events and maintain the site, with the help of a few of his tech-savvy friends. But that effectively neglected the “uncle who volunteered at the mosque” or the “sister who donated her time to the women’s group”---each an invaluable reference point for community activities. To make matters worse, when the MC team became overwhelmed with requests to add items to the calendar, it was apparent that Mosque board members and organizational directors were generally too busy and uninterested in learning to navigate the early web page.
“A few of the prominent members of the community, a couple of the main lecturers, were amazed. They were like ‘We’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for a long time and you just did it’. I actually didn’t talk to a lot of people before hand. I just did it” says Ahmed.
Though his initiative was justified by praise from Dallas ’ Muslim residents, there were problems. Muslim Calendars first version turned out to be less than completely user-friendly as it was intended to be used primarily by Ahmed himself to add events and maintain the site, with the help of a few of his tech-savvy friends. But that effectively neglected the “uncle who volunteered at the mosque” or the “sister who donated her time to the women’s group”---each an invaluable reference point for community activities. To make matters worse, when the MC team became overwhelmed with requests to add items to the calendar, it was apparent that Mosque board members and organizational directors were generally too busy and uninterested in learning to navigate the early web page.
Ahmed and his crew returned to the drawing board and refined MC’s user-friendliness—and in a stroke of creative brilliance, added the ability for cities around the world to add themselves and start their own calendars. Soon Seattle, San Francisco and several communities in Florida jumped on the scheduling bandwagon. Presently 50 of the heaviest Muslim-populated cities in North America have added themselves or been added by Ahmed, enjoying easy, large-scale publicity with the previously unheard of ability to avoid scheduling conflicts with other organizations’ events.
Unveiling the product Website functionality is usually the benchmark that separates the mediocre from the mega-successful in cyper-space. With the mission of becoming a global calendrical force, seasoned web developers Chris Shrage and Adeel Aslam joined together with Ahmed to create a technical ‘dream team’ for the purpose of pushing MC’s user-interface capabilities to the next level. Earlier this month, Muslim Calendar unveiled the results of this collaboration with a decidedly smarter website and enhanced scheduling features.
Unveiling the product Website functionality is usually the benchmark that separates the mediocre from the mega-successful in cyper-space. With the mission of becoming a global calendrical force, seasoned web developers Chris Shrage and Adeel Aslam joined together with Ahmed to create a technical ‘dream team’ for the purpose of pushing MC’s user-interface capabilities to the next level. Earlier this month, Muslim Calendar unveiled the results of this collaboration with a decidedly smarter website and enhanced scheduling features.
How MC Works Organizations and individuals can sign-up to the site by entering their email address and choosing a unique password or just browse local happenings in their own or other areas. By clicking the ‘add event’ icon, one can include new events of interest to the community. Organizations can place a mini version of the MC calendar on their website as a convenience for their members. What is also groundbreaking is that users can design personal calendars for themselves using the MC functions---calendars that can be shared with anyone the user desires On the horizon MC is planning to include event ratings, event reports, a speakers bureau—and of course, forums.
“This is something that is very, very much needed,’ admits Daud Idris Abdul-Salam, an event seeker who resides in El Cajon , California . “I think that since technology is here, it’s good to use in any positive way we can to link people together. I think MC is a good way.” Success or failure The test for MC’s continued growth and relevance will be whether or not a utility that derives its usefulness only in proportion to the consistency of community engagement is able to survive. In a Catch-22 scenario, people will only log into the site if enough events are added and updated regularly, but events can only be added and updated regularly if people log into the site. Needless to say, MC is hoping that community leaders, board members and activists from all areas will jump on board---and remain.
“It’s a daunting task,” says Atlanta based activist Rawah Hassan, “But it’s good to have the whole community on the same page.”
But as useful as the site may be to average Muslims, its sure to be a bonanza for advertisers hoping to pedal Islamic products and services to a buying market that has been traditionally under-served. And since donations to the non-profit MC are few and far between, advertisers may be the only cash source to keep it afloat. Still yet, there are rumors that, like Zabihah.com before it, MC may soon enter the world of for-profit business. In any case, with the new ease of usage and added features, Muslim Calendar is poised on the brink of what some believe will be a phenomenal growth spurt driving the site into the strata of Islamonline.net… and perhaps even MySpace.
8) FILM: A Jihad for Love
One of the most noticeable things about A Jihad for Love, a film that portrays a variety of men and women who struggle with being both Muslim and gay, is how many blurred faces Homosexuality in Islam is officially forbidden, and in theocratic states that idea often results in draconian laws and unforgivable incidents where gays have been imprisoned and tortured. 
From A Jihad for Love, Ahsan bears testimony.
Photo courtesy of Halal Films.
Photo courtesy of Halal Films.
A Jihad for Love portrays some of the stories that took place in South Africa, Egypt, and India, and it follows a group of gay men who fled from Iran to Turkey. Some then went to Canada, where it’s evident that a great pressure is initially lifted. What’s interesting about many of these characters is that they are not rejecting Islam per se but instead are trying to find a place to be who they are and still find a way to “live with God.” In fact, some of them engage in discussion with Imams or are themselves Islamic scholars who argue for a different interpretation of how parts of the Koran have been used to persecute homosexuality.
Jihad is a powerful document and complement to Trembling Before G-d, a film about gays in the Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish communities (Sandi Dubowski was a producer of both). These films have taken subjects that are simply not approached and engaged them head-on,but within a narrative that also encompasses a respect for the religion and faith of the subjects.
Together they show what should be obvious: people who know they are gay will always be so and, while they might be forced into a traditional place in a conservative society, they will always be unfulfilled and, at worse, self-hating. Watching Jihad for Love makes one wonder how many gay people there are trapped in such communities all over the world.
Williams Cole9) Fading of a unique Gender-Bender Social Custom in a European Muslim Country - Albania
Albanian Custom Fades: Woman as Family Man
In the Balkans, particularly Albania, there are a few reasons one might choose to become a sworn virgin -- that is, a woman who renounces sexual activity and in return adopts the social role of a man. Though they do not have sex change operations or engage in sex with women, when sworn virgins take their vows and dress like men, they become, for all practical purposes, according to the region's very delineated gender roles, men. Sworn virgins then have the freedom to remain unmarried, to inherit money, to carry weapons, to enter public life, and to act as heads of households -- which, in an area historically fraught with ethnic conflict and blood feuds, can be the only thing keeping a family together.
Now, however, all that is changing -- but slowly. Over the decades, gender roles have become less rigid in Albania, and women have more social, legal, and economic freedom. To this end, only about 40 sworn virgins remain living in the country. The rest have died, and the tradition itself is dying off. Though today's sworn virgins are still respected as men in public life and as the patriarchs of their families, the movement away from Albania's traditional family structure -- with all family members living in one house -- has given women more autonomy.
"'Women and men are now almost the same,' said Caca Fiqiri, whose aunt Qamile Stema, 88, is his village’s last sworn virgin. 'We respect sworn virgins very much and consider them as men because of their great sacrifice. But there is no longer a stigma not to have a man of the house."
10) Congratulations -
To a special couple who were recently married and continue to be the readers of our very own VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH.
To a special couple who were recently married and continue to be the readers of our very own VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH.
We are happy to announce that two of our readers of VOICE OF GLOBAL UMMAH have recently been married and let's all pray to Allah to shower His blessings on above newly married couple. May Allah grant them happiness and marital bliss. We have two other Muslim sisters, US citizens looking for prospective practicing Muslim soulmate. For details, please contact us at below e-mail address.
As usual, feel free to e-mail your comments: info@mehrunyusuficds.com
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